Is he a hands on dad? As a mum, if I have to hear someone ask that question one more time, I honestly think I will lose it. This question needs to stop. Why? Because every dad should be one. Simple. As. That. Every father should equally parent. The fact that this still has to be discussed amazes me.
But as much as we want to convince ourselves of the active role many men have in their children’s lives (because some definitely do), this fact remains. There are still a significant proportion of parenting relationships that are no way near 50/50. For some dads, their career, social and even leisure pursuits often come before their children and their role as a parent. And you know what? This is not good enough.
Yes, some mothers aren’t 50/50 (I know) and yes, some dads definitely are 50/50, some even more. But I have witnessed first-hand, not just in one but in a few of the family dynamics I regularly see, that the mother is by far the active or ‘hands on’ parent in these families, not by a small margin but by a long shot.
Recently I had my daughter’s birthday party. A friend of mine and her partner and kids came along. When my friend’s partner decided he wanted to leave he told her, quite assertively, “put the kids in the car.” For context, at this party he didn’t know many people. It was my friend that had the links and the one that was trying to politely say her goodbyes. But because, for him, she wasn’t quick enough, he interrupted with his demand.