"Don't judge me, but... I don't want the hand-me-down engagement ring."

Diamonds are more important to me than sentimental value.

Recently my (now fiancee) proposed to me. He swept me off my feet. Down at our favourite beach, just the two of us, a champagne picnic and a perfect sun ridden day. Picture perfect some would say.

I thought he may propose but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

We were having a lovely picnic and I got up and went down to feel the water temperature (which was freezing). I stepped out of the water and turned to walk back to our picnic rug. As I turned I saw him on the sand – down on one knee about 20 metres away from me. I gasped and ran to him. He asked me to marry him and I managed a blubbering yes through tears and giggles.

He opened the little box in his hand and I stopped. I was stunned. What the hell was that ugly thing in the box? Did he dig it up from a dumpster, or buy it on the cheap from an op shop? I was so confused.

I think he saw the confusion on my face. He smiled and told me it was his grandmother’s ring and he’d been waiting for the right woman to give it to. He’d been close to his grandma – I knew that – and she’d passed away seven years ago. But this, I didn’t want this.

LISTEN: How soon is TOO soon to be engaged? The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss. Post continues after. 

I choked out a thank you and slipped on the ugly thing. It was gold – I wanted white gold. It was round – I wanted square. It had a whole ring of tiny diamonds – I wanted a big solid sparkling rock. It looked old – I wanted modern. It ticked none of my boxes.

I was excited that I was engaged to the man of my dreams so I sucked it up and tried to not look at it and enjoy the night my new fiancee had planned. But every time I caught a glimpse of the ring a pang made my stomach turn.

I thought a ring pop would look better.

A ring pop would've been better.

I asked my friends and family for advice on what I should do. I asked if I should say something and if so how I could break it to him.

One friends said, "No one wants a ring that looks like it comes from a museum."

Another said, "Just tell him gently. It may be hard, but if this is your soulmate and life partner you need to be able to talk to him about difficult things."

One family member said, "suck it up, that means a lot to him you should be grateful."

I don't want to hurt him, but I just can't live with this on my finger.

What should I do?

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