Last weekend, Gwneyth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand Goop held its inaugural summit in California.
Don’t worry, I don’t like how that sentence sounded either.
Firstly, there’s something about the word ‘Goop’. It sounds like a thick bodily fluid that indicates you need to go to the doctor. The name is, of course, derived from Paltrow’s initials, but if you google it the official definition of ‘goop’ is, I quote, a “stupid person”.
To be clear, the definition well preceded Goop the brand.
The term ‘summit’ also sits uncomfortably. It feels hyperbolic. People in LA don’t have conferences or talks. They have summits.
LISTEN: Holly Wainwright, Monique Bowley and I discussed the Goop summit on this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
Reports out of the Goop summit have saturated the news cycle this week. Apparently, Americans shouldn’t be eating tomatoes, potatoes or kale. Painkillers are akin to swallowing a “hand grenade”. Miranda Kerr puts leeches on her face, and a doctor performed a 10 minute surgical face lift on stage, which involved threading a needle through a woman’s cheek.
The procedure costs only $3,500, Dr Julius Few beamed at the audience, before adding a disclaimer that it may or may not cause blindness.
What’s the use in looking younger if you can no longer see your reflection in the mirror?
The rather predictable discourse (of which I was certainly a part) asserted itself. Paltrow is “insane”, the headlines shouted. “Bonkers” said another. The whole convention was “ridiculous” and “dangerous” and a slap in the face for science.