You know all those times you thought oysters were the aphrodisiac you needed? Wrong.
Remember all the those times you were told it was chocolate or bananas or coffee that would keep your sex drive kicking? Wrong, again.
All you have to do is pop an egg up your vagina. Really! Poached, too.
I’m kidding. It’s a stone egg, of course, made from rose quartz or jade because your vagina deserves the very best and not those silly edible eggs I joked about.
If it’s not all coming together in a whirl of epiphanies and understanding, Paltrow explains it in her latest GOOP newsletter.
“The strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity – queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors – jade eggs harness the power of energy work, crystal healing and a Kegel-like physical practice.
“Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general.