***BREAKING NIPPLE NEWS***
Guys, we have a potential nipnapping on our hands (that’s a nipple kidnapping for those of you playing along at home).
The first ever copy of GOOP magazine was recently released and there’s one very important detail missing from the front cover.
We have the Gwyneth, we have the goop, but Gwynnie’s nipples are nowhere to be seen. Her nips have gone MIA.
Have they been nipnapped? Have they gone into nipness protection? Are they now N.I.P operatives? Have her nipples joined a cult and gone off the grid?
Like a true ‘investigative journalist’ I scoured the pages of the magazine trying to locate the nipples in question.
Unfortunately I was unsuccessful in my mission and the case of the missing nipples remains unsolved, but I did learn a lot.