friendship

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin 'consciously co-parent' their kids.

Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin added a new phrase to our vocab when they chose to “consciously uncouple” last year. We were quizzical at the time.

But maybe, just maybe, us Smug Marrieds (to channel Bridget Jones) can learn a lesson or two about marriage – and surviving the aftermath of a break-up from the celeb couple.

Kisses from the kids: Paltrow with Moses and Apple. Image via Instagram.

Separation or divorce is never easy. Very often, each spouse is so caught up in his/her own emotional turmoil, it’s hard to think straight – let alone play fair. So the lawyers are roped in to mediate and divvy up everything from the old CD collection to the pot plants. Unfortunately in these divorce dramas, it’s often the children who end up as pawns as each spouse tries to keep a stranglehold on shared possessions. Bitter custody battles ensue.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Apple and Moses in Mexico.

Paltrow and Martin married in 2003, but filed for divorce earlier this year. (The “conscious uncoupling” took place at the end of last year.) So it’s heartening to know that their kids, daughter Apple, 11, and son Moses, 9, have always been their focus despite their divorce proceedings.

TAP on the photo below to scroll through our gallery of Gwyneth Paltrow, her life and loves:

Speaking at the 2015 BlogHer conference in New York last week, Gwyneth admitted that their split has taken its toll on all of them. Speaking from the heart, the actress said, "It's been hard, and you know, like, we've gone through really difficult times with it but we've always said, 'These children are our priority.' What that really means is, 'Even though today, you hate me and you never want to see me again, like, we're going to brunch, 'cause it's Sunday and that's what we'll do! The children are our commitment."

So how do they achieve this semblance of goodwill? For one thing, they try and still do things together as a family. They recently went on a family holiday to Mexico in April.

They also support each other’s careers. Martin recently took Apple and Moses to a garden party organised by Paltrow's website Goop.

Apple (left) and Moses (right).

The couple also show a united front when setting the ground rules for their children. For example, Paltrow feels that Apple (now 11) should not have a phone yet. Martin agrees.

It’s not always smooth-sailing. Paltrow explained, “It's definitely imperfect, but it gets easier with time and you know, we're really good friends.”

She was also all praise for her ex-husband, saying, “He's a great dad and so, I feel lucky that we both, along the way, have been able to really put down our own stuff while we're together with the family. We make it a priority to be together so that the transition for the children wasn't, you know, as brutal as it could be."

Paltrow acknowledges that co-parenting is a tough gig. She concluded saying, "It's so hard and I would never judge anyone for doing it any way. For us, we thought if we could maintain the family even though we're changing the shape of it, that would be our ideal scene and so that's what we're trying to do."

How do you manage your relationship with your ex?