Yesterday, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin ended their 11-year-long marriage.
The 41-year-old actress and 37-year-old Coldplay frontman have requested that the world talk about their ‘conscious uncoupling’ rather than use vulgar terms like ‘break-up’ or ‘split’. For an explainer of that celebrity nonsense, pop over to this post.
This morning, we have all the feelings. We have all the questions. We can’t get enough Gwyneth and Chris information. Here’s a list of all the relevant tidbits we’ve gathered together.
Chris Martin just wrote a really beautiful song about breaking.
Coldplay’s new single, Magic, seems extremely relevant. Listen to Chris’s famous voice break as he sings the lyrics: ‘And I just got broken / Broken into two / Still I call it magic / When I’m next to you’. And tell us if that doesn’t break your heart right in two.
Gwyneth’s raunchy Glee video came out the same day she announced the split.
He was a conservative English musician. She was a world-famous actress.
In 1998, Gwyneth was an Oscar-winning actress. Chris was a 22-year-old virgin singing in a choir in Devon, England. They were worlds apart.
Chris has spoken about how he grew up in an extremely religious household, and worried that he might be gay during his teenage years. He told Rolling Stone in 2008 why he waited so long to lose his virginity: “There were religious issues and s*** like that… Also confidence. I had a tricky time with girls. I got trapped in the friendship tip many, many times. I don’t want to be the person that makes everyone laugh before they go off and bang.”
And how he, ah, drastically changed his attitude when fame hit: “I wanted to be the guy that everybody bangs. I was like, ‘I need to be a rock star.'”
Fast-forward a few years to 2003, and a shy 25-year-old Chris found himself married to one of the most glamorous stars in Hollywood, expecting a baby together. His world was rocked.
Chris was intimidated by Brad Pitt because he’s only human.From 1995 to 1997, Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt were Hollywood’s golden couple. They were engaged, they were blonde, they were exceedingly attractive. Brad’s shoes were big to fill – and Chris was extremely new to the fame game, and the dating scene.
“You’ve got to be hungry,” Chris once told Rolling Stone. “If your wife went out with Brad Pitt, you’d want to prove yourself, you know what I mean?”
Hey, remember when Gwyneth gave the world sex advice?
One of Gwyneth’s best friends is comedian Chelsea Handler, the host of talk show Chelsea Lately on E! This little anecdote made Gwyneth extremely famous for being an accidental sex advisor to the world. Watch it.
Now, Gwyneth will likely return to the couple’s $14 million Malibu home and Chris will keep living in London. Their two creatively named children, 9-year-old Apple and 7-year-old Moses, will continue to grow up in a world where divorce is known as ‘conscious uncoupling,’ fame is normal, Hollywood is home, and refined white pasta is banned. To cheer us all up, here’s that brand-new beautiful photograph of Gwyneth and Chris in happier, sunshine-yellow times.