Quite possibly the most luxurious masturbation guide to ever exist.

Tonight I was invited to a champagne and exotic canapé fuelled birthday of an inner city restaurant. The who’s who on the guest list would be there and the photographers too, ready to snap our picture for the papers.

I even thought of what to wear: lingerie free with a spaghetti strap slip and fitted long sleeve sheer black dress over the top, killer silver stilettos with matching clutch and bold black eyeliner. But as the day carried on I realised more than anything I wanted to stay in. With me.

Then, I found myself fantasising about clipping my hair up in a lose chignon and running a hot oil bath, soaking for as long as my heart desired, then towelling dry to moisturise every inch of my body in organic coconut oil, entering the bedroom lit with candles and the smell of fresh sheets and incense in the air.

And so it was, I had to skip the party to seduce me

This has been me on more than one occasion, and to ensure you could enjoy just the same I created your guide to a sensual night in alone.

Single or coupled it doesn’t matter. Pick and mix from the guide below and tell them you can’t tonight – you’re making love with yourself! Then switch your phone off to spend the night honouring and worshipping you…

Music Please!

Native American drums and flute or classical, some ambient lounge music or something heavier to entice you to dance around the room. Choose what makes you feel juicy, erotic, awakened, alive, turned on, sexy, sweet, open, feminine… and turn it on!

Set the Scene

(You make choose to slowly run the bath while you do this). Put clean sheets on the bed, light some candles and incense or an oil burner, ensure the sensual music will play for the next couple of hours, have some organic coconut oil and a towel handy. If it is warm you may need a fan/air conditioning in the room, or a small heater if it is chilly and you don’t have heating and cooling in the entire space.


Warm & Soak

Take a hot oil bath – organic; grape seed or almond work well with a few drops of essential oils like jasmine, ylang ylang, lavender, bergamot.

Image supplied.

*You may enjoy a glass of fine wine or champagne here (also take some water if so as you may get rather hot and we don’t want you feeling dehydrated! Otherwise some chilled lemon water infused with cucumber and mint is Divine or an organic herbal caffeine free tea.)

**If you don’t have a shower make up an essential oil infused body rub (just as you would pop in the tub) and adorn yourself with your liquid elixir in the shower once clean.

Oil & Moisturise

Once you’ve gently towel dried cover your body all over with some organic coconut oil. Paying attention to every part of your Divine body temple. As you softly and slowly massage the coconut into your skin send your body love, from your toes to your nose, of course paying special attention to your most favourite sensual areas such as your inner thigh, yoni, buttocks, breasts, décolletage and neck.

Slip into Sensual

A silk robe or satin nightdress may be your ideal covering or a light weave sarong. Choose a texture of fabric that you enjoy the feel of against your skin and is just as easy to slip on as it is to slip off.

Foods of the Goddess

If you had a bath you may have enjoyed a glass of fine wine or champagne, now you can enjoy a little nibble too, on your bedroom floor or on top of your bed enjoy a petite banquette of aphrodisiac foods like a true Goddess; try some organic grapes and strawberries and bite size pieces of raw chocolate. *Source seasonal bite size nibbles you enjoy best.

Image: supplied.

Mirror, Mirror

Stand in front of a full-length mirror, lay on the floor, or on top of the bedding ideally with a mirror in front of you and gently touch your body as you move to the music. Run your hands along your fresh warm, oiled skin, admire what you see, feel, sense, smell. Be guided by your innate Divine Feminine power and let go. All is perfect, you are a miracle, embrace this.

Play Time

When you are ready slip off your covering and make yourself as comfortable as possible. Take your time. How do you enjoy to be touched? Do you love slow moving fingers up your inner thighs, buttocks squeezing or the feeling of fabric sensually draped and moved along your skin. Play with what feels sensual, intimate, natural, sexy for you. There is no one to please but you, this is the art of learning how to connect with yourself inside and out. Take note of what your body is feeling as it responds.What do you notice internally and externally?


Breath and Breasts

As you have been building your desire and inner fire you want to move the activated energy you have in your yoni space up into your heart, to merge your sexuality and sensuality with unconditional love. Massaging your breasts can assist with this. Likewise while you are doing this you want to have your breath assisting you. If deep breathing and visualisation is enough for you focus on that and enjoy.

Madison Messina's try at home bedroom tip. Post continues after audio.

*If you want to take this experience to another Tantric level I encourage you to learn the –COMPLETE BREATH video here.


Continue exploring and taking your time. You make like to stop and concentrate on the sensations placing your hands upon your womb and breasts. You may be ready to sleep or take a nap and then continue when you wake. There is no right or wrong.

This guide may be a complete package or pick and choose what entices you the most. Even a book in the bath with a glass of champagne or a herbal tea may be all you need tonight. Or perhaps a full body self massage in from of the mirror with a single candle will awaken your Divine Feminine and empower your self from the outside and from within. Listen to you heart, your yoni and flow with reckless abandon, this is your time for you.

Make this year more about nourishing your relationship with self. When you nourish you first it flows into all you connect with and all you do. It is a deep part of being a Divinely Empowered Woman.

Elise Carr is a Divine Empowerment, Sacred Sexuality & Spirituality Director at Stella Muse.