real life

Group Therapy: Whose news are you telling?


Don’t you hate it when people know more about you than you’ve told them? What about when someone you know is telling YOUR news? Mamamia reader Kate writes:

“I suffered a miscarriage a little over 2 weeks ago at 14 weeks pregnant.  I have read about this topic on Mamamia since my own loss and it has brought sorrow and surprise at the amount of women in this “secret club” and made me feel less like I was on my own. It didn’t entirely help with the pain I was experiencing over my loss but none the less was glad to have the access to other people’s stories.

So today I received a text from a friend who I had not told yet saying she was sorry for my loss.  I had another friend who I had told tell her and it has greatly upset me.

I wonder when is it appropriate to tell others of news that isn’t theirs to share good or bad? When you’re pregnant and want to tell people yourself and others feel its ok to do it for you is it right? (as happened to us with my first pregnancy of our now 2 year old daughter, we didnt get to tell lots of people we wanted through others doing it for us).

Is it a specific time frame thing? I am upset that this friend told others when its only been 2 weeks, maybe if it was 2 months ago and she had people asking “hows Kate  doing?” and had put off the question before would that have been ok?”