real life

Her husband died 4 weeks ago. On his 44th birthday.

Do you have any advice for Jacinta?

EDITOR’S NOTE: We received this email from Jacinta last night and were immediately moved by her situation. She has asked for advice, for support and for help, from the Mamamia community. We know the wonderful readers of this site will rise to the occasion and assist by leaving some kind words in the comments. Thank you in advance.


Six weeks ago my husband went to the emergency room feeling unwell.   Four weeks ago my husband died.  He died on his 44th birthday.

He had been feeling okay,  but had been diagnosed with an ulcer.  It turned out the ulcer was actually stomach cancer which had metastasized to his liver.

I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to deal with everything.  I have a 14 year old daughter and an 11 year old son.

Everyone tells us that time will make things better but how does the world get better when the most important part of our world is gone?

But we can’t just grieve for him.  I have to worry about paying the bills, the schools I’m going to send my kids to, paying the mortgage, who is going to teach my son to shave, who will scare off potential boyfriends for my daughter, who is going to teach my son to be the man his father was and what am I going to do in 20 years time when he’s not here.

I don’t know why I am sending this to you.  I do know that  my husband was one of the best people I know.  He loved being a dad and that’s what his life was about.   His family.  We were the most important thing to him.  And now he doesn’t get to be here.

And maybe talking to a stranger will help me.

Jacinta is a regular Mamamia reader.

Do you have any advice for Jacinta? How do you deal with grief, when you have a family to take care of?