This mum was there at the birth, but not really.
I don’t have any memories of my first child coming into the world.
It was a bit of a crazy night. I didn’t have a real birth plan, but I was hoping to get through it as naturally as possible. I had my husband and sister with me. The first few hours of labour were fine, but as soon as I got to the hospital, things got scary.
The doctor was worried by my baby’s heart rate. She thought the cord was wrapped around my baby’s neck, and I would need a caesarean. Someone did a spinal block on me but it didn’t work, so I was given a general anaesthetic.
My husband and sister were told to wait outside, and my baby was delivered, witnessed only by an anonymous surgical team.
The next thing I knew I was lying on a trolley somewhere. I asked a man walking by if I’d had a boy or a girl, and he checked a note, and said I’d had a girl.
The next few hours are a bit blurry. I vaguely remember being on a hospital bed, and a midwife trying to put my nipple in my baby’s mouth.
A close friend had recently lost a baby, and throughout my pregnancy, I was thinking of her little boy. I felt lucky just to have a healthy baby.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I had the thought, once again, that it would be nice for labour to be as natural as possible. But that wasn't really my priority. I wanted to see my baby come into the world. I knew I wouldn't be having any more children, and this would be my last chance.
