"Mummy, remember how you said that next time the ice-cream man comes around, I can have a really big ice-cream? The one with sprinkles AND a flake because we all missed out during lockdown, and you never have any money in your wallet? Well, I can hear him now and I checked, you’ve got $10!"
Ah yes, the perils of having a child (or children) with memories like elephants; they forget nothing, especially when it comes to them scoring something extra special, usually requiring either your time or money — often both.
Strangely, though, super-memory doesn’t seem to extend to things like remembering to hang their pre-school bag up or fill up the dog’s water bowl, but that’s a topic for another day.
And if you've got one of these kinda kids, here are four things you've most definitely experienced.
1. They’ve got a special chip that records the promise of the things they really want.
Ever been a full shopping trolley deep in the supermarket, dashing through the aisles, acutely aware that school pickup is in T-minus 15 minutes AND you desperately need to wee?
You say things. Things that will make the whole process quicker and mean that you reach the checkout before they need to call for a clean-up in Aisle 5.
Things like, "yes, next time we’ll go to the ice-cream aisle, and you can choose which one we have this weekend," and "when we come back next week, I’ll help you find the unicorn-themed Kinder Surprise egg because I know the disappointment you’ve suffered in choosing the wrong one."
What may appear to be simple words, strung together in desperation become verbal weapons in the hands of a 4-year-old with a good memory. And you best believe they are storing those little nuggets for the precise moment you grab a trolley for the next food shop.
2. They’ll ensure the catchphrases from their favourite show are drilled into your soul.
“Sound the Octo-alert!”
“Octonauts, to the Octoray!”
“Jumpin’ Jellyfish!”
If there was a degree in Octo-knowledge, my child would be first in line for a Masters.
And, after living with three Octonauts-loving children, I reckon I’m at PhD level. My daughter's knowledge of her beloved Octos is that she prefers to voice the characters, sounds and phrases when playing with her new Octonauts Above & Beyond Octoray Transforming Playset.
Image: Supplied.
She’s got Captain Barnacles going up the elevator towards the detachable mini-ray to try and capture the Giant Panda who's on the loose while the engines are spinning, and time is running out.
When she needs a break from voicing the action, the playset has over 25 sounds and phrases along with light up special effects to take over the reins.
As I write this, I’m told they’re off to the Mariana Trench tomorrow to pick up my personal fave, Kwazii, the loveable roguish ex-pirate, who has been on a mission to wrestle a Chinese Giant Salamander into line.
3. They have a knack for remembering everything embarrassing.
“My mummy had a sore tummy this morning, but it’s better now because she did a big poo.”
This amusing anecdote happened to someone that absolutely, 100 per cent, was not me. According to my, ahem, anonymous source, the barista got more than they bargained for when they asked, “and how has your morning been?” Kids may say the darndest things, but they remember the most mortifying.
From the time you slagged off the post office to your commentary on the prices at the local café, the walls have ears when there is a kid involved and they’ll retain that knowledge ‘til they’re ready to regurgitate it at the perfect moment.
The lesson: say nothing you wouldn’t want your barista/post office person/family/friends to know.
4. They’ll hustle you every opportunity they get.
Have you ever been beaten in a game of memory by a 4-year-old? Like genuinely, legitimately beaten? I have. It happens weekly. Thing is, I didn’t realise how good my child was at ‘Mermaid Memory’ for an embarrassingly long time. Clearly, she clued on pretty quickly and realised she could use this fact to her advantage.
The winner never has to pack away the game in our house and suddenly I found that ‘Mermaid Memory’ was the game du jour at the end of every play session.
And I would lose every time and find myself packing everything away while my daughter enjoyed her win by kicking back on the couch and informing me of all the mistakes I made and how I could have beaten her but didn’t.
Humility, thy name is a brutally honest 4-year-old.
Shop the new Octoray Headquarters Transforming Playset as well as other Octonauts toys at your local toy store, Big W, or Target.
Feature Image: Supplied.
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