lifestyle

Ancient Greek mathematics are the latest tool making women feel bad about themselves.

Just when you thought unrealistic body expectations had reached peak crazy, now the Ancient Greeks are here to tell you your figure is not up to scratch.

A lingerie brand has kindly discovered that Scarlett Johansson has the ‘perfect’ body, by measuring her against the Ancient Greek beauty formula, the golden ratio.

For those unfamiliar with The Da Vinci Code Ancient Greek mathematics, the golden ratio or ‘divine proportion’ appears throughout the natural world and is considered to be the most visually pleasing measurement.

Scarlett Johansson, Kim Kardashian and Helen Mirren measure up. Source: Twitter

That’s right – move over abstract measures like thigh gaps and bikini bridges – we’re now using maths and measurements to determine sexiness.

The “study” showed that Scarlett Johanssen scored a massive 96.4% accuracy on the annoying scale, while Kim Kardashian came a close second with 96.3%. Also commendable according to science, Helen Mirren (go girl!), Cameron Diaz and Elle McPherson.

Scarlett measures up. Source: Twitter

But that’s just Ancient Greece’s opinion.

What about the rest of the world?

We’ve taken the liberty of setting some new beauty ratios for other countries. You’re welcome, Planet Earth.

In Italy, you are considered beautiful if your face is roughly the same size as a pizza.

Mmmm.

In Australia, you have the perfect figure if there is a space between your first and second toe for rubber thongs.

Australian beauty. Thongs.

In France, if your legs are longer than the Eiffel Tower, you are the perfect height.

Scar-ffel Tower.

In England, if your open mouth is the exact shape of a scone, you are deliciously beautiful.

Scone face is beautiful in ALL cultures.

In Germany, if the distance from your belly button to your knee is the same length as your lederhosen, you are perfection.

Great measurement, the Lederlength.

But, just for kicks, if you want to see how you measure up against the golden ratio (please don’t), here is how you do it.

WE WARN YOU – DO NOT take it to heart. It is just as irrelevant as a scone-shaped mouth.

According to the Daily Mail Online...

  1. Measure the circumference of your upper body at the point at which your bust is most prominent (B), your waist at its narrowest (W) and your hips at the widest (H). 

  2. You can do it in cm or inches. 

  3. Then measure from your bust line down to your waist (label this distance BW) and measure from your Waist to your Hip line (HW).

  4. (B – W) x BW x 0.5 = Bust figure

  5. (H – W) x HW x 0.5 = Hip Figure

  6. And then calculate:

  7. Bust figure + Hip Figure / Hip Figure = your Golden Ratio

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