My gluten-free life has its perks.
I no longer have to run to the bathroom after every meal, my housemates don’t order me to stand outside post-dinner (yes, the smells I was producing were that bad) and I no longer have to keep an internal map of the city’s public toilets.
Unlike for the one in 100 Australians living with coeliac’s disease, gluten itself is not the culprit of my tummy woes (as it turns out, I have severe fructose intolerance) but, for the most part, I eat gluten-free foods as they are also low in fructans which, unfortunately, I just can’t stomach.
I am still grieving the loss of almond croissants from my life, but I can deal with it, because my health is finally under control.
What I struggle to deal with every day is the questions and niggly comments.
Here are eight things gluten-free people never want to hear again.
1. Do I want a Tim Tam/this cake/a piece of pie/some pancakes/THIS CRONUT?
Yes, OF COURSE I want to eat all of the things. I am not intolerant to flavour, I have taste buds. But what may look like a delicious floury treat for you, for me looks like a couple of days spent in too-close proximity of my toilet.
2. I don’t know how you live without pasta.
I don’t live without pasta. I still eat pasta at least once a week — thank god they can make it gluten-free, is all I’m saying.
3. Are you just doing it because it’s trendy?
There has been an explosion of gluten-free food options in recent years as more and more people give gluten the boot — and frankly, I couldn’t be happier about it.
As long as cafes and restaurants take the gluten-free label seriously (even a small amount of gluten can be seriously harmful for a coeliac), I don’t see a problem with it. It might be ‘trendy’, but as someone who needs to be on a strict diet for health reasons, it’s nice to be able to eat out regularly without worrying.