My friend, Alex, met an event planner at a party in Los Angeles. She described him as charismatic, sweet, and ambitious — a mix of personality traits you typically don’t find in the men of LA.
They went on several dates: the movies, a museum, and a wine n' paint night.
The morning after they grabbed sushi together, Alex texted this guy. She didn’t hear from him all day. A little weird, but she figured he was busy.
Watch: An explainer on ghosting. Post continues below.
But that day turned into another day, which turned into weeks. This guy went radio silent on her in a matter of 24 hours. "What the actual f*ck," she rightly wondered to me.
We wouldn’t be sure for at least a few more weeks, but Alex was ghosted by this guy. She felt betrayed, in a sense. They’d gotten to know each other so well; she figured she at least deserved an explanation.
About three months after Alex was ghosted, we were grabbing coffee. I pointed out someone’s adorable puppy (like I do with every dog I see) when Alex spotted none other than Mr. Ghoster himself.
When he locked eyes with Alex, the look on this guy’s face was one of a coward. She walked up and confronted him about the ghosting, and told him he was an ass hat for treating her like that (again, her words).
I imagine this dude thought he’d never see Alex again since Los Angeles is a big city. But it just goes to show that ghosting is equal parts cowardly, lazy, and hopes they’ll never be held accountable.
If you’re thinking about ghosting someone, have the decency to send them a simple message.
Sending a straightforward text to let someone know you’re not into them isn’t hard; if anything, running into the person after you’ve ignored all their texts for months is way more awkward, trust me.
The "put yourself in their shoes" scenario applies well here. If you were dating someone you liked and, out-of-the-blue, they stopped responding to you, you’d feel pretty hurt, right?
You already send at least 20 to 50 texts a day, would it really be that hard to send one more?