by ZOE FOSTER
Over the weekend I was generous enough to dance like a princess (‘goose’) for many hours for a dazzled (‘indifferent’) audience at a friend’s 30th. It was SO FUN. I haven’t had a good dance – you know the kind, sweaty, wild, hilarious, full of giggles and interpretive/freestyle/contemporary moves – for over a year.
Which saddens me. A dame must dance; it’s good for the soul. (If, like me, you do not like clubs and the like, preferring to save it all up and unleash annually at a house party, you might be interested in No Lights, No Lycra, which is exactly as it sounds but five x more awesome.)
Anyway. A friend of mine was there, a single friend, and she lamented as the night went on that she “shouldn’t have straightened her hair, because she never got any attention from guys when she did.”
After a long slurp from my delicious vodka something-or-other, I (straight hair starting to curl from sweat/headbanging) probed further. Turns out she (ghd-straight hair), and another dame who stood with us (messy top-knot) and joined the conversation, believe that girls with curls get guys, not dames with perfectly straight hair. Guys don’t notice straight hair, they say. Think of the hot girls in movies and ads and stuff – always roughed up, flicky, curly, wavy hair. GIRLS like straight hair, but guys don’t. Now I’ve heard other girls say this something along these lines in the past, but never with such wide-eyed conviction and finger jabs
After a lot of snorting guffawing noises and general disbelief from me, the girls explained that in their experience, waves, curls and messy hair was a more… effective male magnet than when they did their hair perfectly, be that dead straight or tightly back.
It wasn’t actually up for debate, I soon realised, they were telling me, not suggesting it as a theorem. They had the personal proof, for them it held true. Top-knot claimed she gets a lot more attention when she chucks her hair up high and wears big earrings. Men like shiny earrings, she said. And lots of chest and neck on show, she said, somewhat declaring the obvious. And we know how my straight-haired friend was feeling, as she vainly tried to scrunch some texture into her strands.