By EM RUSCIANO
I wanted to keep this private, I wanted to protect my children and my heart but I am a public person of sorts and I wanted to be in control of how people found out what has happened recently in my life.
You see, my marriage is over.
My brain hurts.
In short, I am broken.
Even typing that has caused several minutes of sobbing but the strange thing is I also feel relieved.
I didn’t want to tell you, I wanted to sneak quietly into the background and grieve privately. I may still do that, this piece of writing may never see the light of day but if you are reading it now then I guess I felt brave enough to say it out loud.
I don’t particularly want to go into details. It’s truly no one’s fault and I still love my husband but we bring out the very worst in each other. It has been that way for many years, this separation has been a long time coming.
My children truly are my main priority, so far they have been bloody spectacular. My eldest in particular, she hops into bed with me each night as she knows I don’t sleep well on my own. They know that their Dad and I love them and that they can see either of us whenever they want and they can also see and feel the calm that had set upon the house now that my husband and I are apart.
My life has become consumed by worry.
I’m worried I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.