Everything stopped as I settled on the post.
My breathing halted. My chest froze. Time stopped.
It was the last thing I expected to see. I’d made sure to avoid such posts. We weren’t friends on social media. Last I knew she’d deleted all of her accounts.
And yet, there she was. My ex-wife. Standing there, smiling, arms wrapped around another man.
Watch: We share our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
It had been a long time since I last saw her smile. It hadn’t broken free of the hurt we both were suffering through as we trudged through the end of our relationship.
The smile momentarily coddled me with warming memories. Memories we’d forged and built together. The warm feeling made it all the easier to lower my guard, and cracked my already mended heart.
I wanted to look away. I needed to. Everything inside of me screamed and begged and pleaded for me to do so.
And yet even if I did look away, I knew the social media post would hang in my mind.
I hadn’t seen her image, at least a new image of her, in years.
I often wondered how I’d feel not if but when I stumbled onto her vision. For a long time, I sat in a feeling of fog. Not exactly sure how to take the digital encounter. The twang of regret. Of loss. Of longing. Of anger and frustration and disappointment.
And yet those feelings did not linger long. They did not remain. Perhaps they cancelled each other out. Maybe the initial fog proved too thick to fully absorb.
But when things settled and the initial shock faded, my feelings became abundantly clear.
Letting go of what remains.
Relationship breakups are rarely easy.
Especially if you’re on the receiving end of the breakup. But even if you’re not, there’s a permanent, unbreakable connection the two of you will forever share. No amount of time or space will completely sever that umbilical connection your hearts and minds and souls created.