This has gone far enough.
Remember the days when you used to get a gelato with your mum on a hot day in Summer?
The joy was in licking the sides evenly before the melty bits reached your hands. Then at the end, the slightly squishy end of the cone would fill up with those last little drips of chocolate gelato and you’d chomp it off in one bite…
It was absolutely perfect, right?
Well, an Australian gelato franchise has just come right out and hipster-fied your old childhood favourite snack — and it doesn’t even involve a cone (or a little plastic cup) any more.
It’s not okay, people. And this newly evolved, too-hip-for-words dessert shows no sign of going away.
The new creation is called a gelato doughnut, and apparently the world is going absolutely nuts for it at the moment.
Internet headlines from around the globe are saying things like ‘the gelato doughnut is too beautiful for your eyes to see’ and ‘the gelato doughnut is the answer to so many questions you never knew you had’ and ‘gelato doughnuts are a thing and we want them all.’
Which is trendy internet-speak for saying that the gelato doughnut movement is really, really taking off and beloved by everybody.
Everybody, that is, except me.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m sure the gelato doughnut tastes better than, say, the tub of home brand vanilla stuff I have in my fridge.
And let it be noted that I have nothing against doughnuts, nor doughnuts with things inside them (the jam doughnut, let’s be clear, is an important culinary stand-alone wonder, not a hybrid food.)