“And a lean, silent figure slowly fades into the gathering darkness, aware at last that in this world, with great power there must also come great responsibility!”
– Spiderman/ Amazing Fantasy, 1962, Marvel Comics.
My dear reader, I have a confession to make: I have, in recent days, abused a certain power of mine.
Blessed with a deft hand in the English language, I’ve only ever used my writing powers for good (Mamamia, Outlander fan-fic, excellent birthday card messages, etc.), and have never even considered using it for dirty money.
Alas, this week past I have discovered a darker side to my powers.
Gumtree – the online garage sale, where old couches and barbeques and rusty golf clubs go for a new life – has created a monster in me. And it’s time to come clean.
It all begun last year when my partner's former apartment was finally sold. We went over and sorted through rooms of junk, filling garbage bags with the flotsam and jetsam of life that a home invariably captures.
But even when we finished cleaning, the house was still full of furniture, and perfectly good furniture at that. "Let's just put it in storage," I suggested innocently, "at least until we figure out what we're doing."
Six months on and the aforementioned furniture was still in a storage unit that costed more per day than it does to feed a small family. We threw a mutual tantrum and decided to move it all into our garage, whereupon we would sell it ASAP.
Well, fast forward a few months again, and it hasn't moved.
My boyfriend's car hasn't seen the ticket-free safety of our garage for months, and I am quite sure there is a small colony of possums living in my collection of faux furs in the corner. It's full to the brim with dressers, beds, couches, outdoors sets, rugs, dining tables and chairs, armchairs, and drawers. Shame that garage isn't bigger, because we could be renting it out as a fully furnished home...
Anyway, the weather has begun to cool down here in Sydney, and my precious winter threads are being held hostage at the back of the garage by this tetris of furniture/possum clan. Enough was enough. It was time to do what women do best, and cull. Ruthlessly.
I had photographs of all of the furniture, thankfully, snapped when it was being shifted from the Shangri-La of furniture storage into our garage. I decided to keep things as simple as possible, and load the photos up onto Gumtree. The rest was in the lap of the gods, what will happen, will happen.
And then it begun.
At first, uploading the items was like a little game. For a task I had been dreading for weeks, I was actually rather enjoying myself. It was a test to my skills as a writer: how could I transform these shockingly poor quality photographs into items that someone would actually want to purchase?