My partner and I have been together for 5 years. It was never hard to talk about anything – until we had to talk about this.
K is older than me, but it has never been an issue for us. I love the way that she is so organised and such a great parent to her two kids. She takes everything in her stride. She runs her own business, she keeps fit and finds time to organise me as well. I feel so lucky to be with her.
My work as a personal trainer means that I am up early and out the door. I work with sexy (sweaty) clients all day, but the thought of being unfaithful has never seriously crossed my mind. It sounds sappy, but I love going home to K.
I remember the first time that she wasn’t interested in having sex. There wasn’t an argument or a scene. I reached out for her, she just kept reading and it didn’t happen. Because I wake so early, I fall asleep quickly, so I didn’t worry about it too much.
We’ve always had a feisty relationship, so it wasn’t long before we were sparring and making up in the bedroom again.
In the next few months, I was working and studying and K was building her real estate business. I noticed a little…I don’t know…unresponsiveness on her part, but it wasn’t a big deal. I’ve studied massage, so I tried to help her relax, but she seemed to struggle to get comfortable and I didn’t push it.
I’ve always been moody, which has been a bit of a sore point in our relationship. I like to work through my moods and spend time alone writing music. What I realised was that I was spending more time alone and K was in her own space too. K and I were still connecting emotionally, but less and less physically. I realised that I was lonely, and it was making my moods even worse. I was snapping at K all the time because I didn’t know how to say how bad I was feeling about myself.
My clients talk to me all the time about their sex lives. But talking about sex is not something I have ever really done. K and I have always just understood each other in the past.