by NATH VALVO
I’m about to come out of the closet (again).
My name is Nath Valvo, and I’m a public transport snob.
A few years ago when I first moved out of home (my mum is still crying) I was a public transport-taking machine. Most days of my life would include several Tram and Train rides.
I enjoyed myself on public transport, good time to listen to music (Kylie), catch up with the important online news sites (Perez Hilton), and not to mention logging on to Grindr as I passed through new suburbs.
I used to be “that guy” banging his drum to his mates about the environmental and financial benefits of not using a car.
Then my situation changed.
Last year when my little sister decided to head overseas for 2 years, I inherited her Toyota Starlet (it’s a lovely masculine aqua colour). Naturally, when this little aqua coloured treasure was handed to me I start driving it from A to B … then to C … then everywhere else in between.
It was a very easy transition. Driving a car is nice. It’s warm. It’s private. I can scratch myself. I can sing loud (and amazingly).Good times indeed.
Before I knew it I had been driving the car for almost a year.
A fortnight ago it decided to stop working (the thingy-majiggy part was broken) forcing me to go back to public transport for my travels. This didn’t bother me, as I had no qualms with the good ol’ Tram.
But by the second Tram I took on that first day back, I noticed that I had changed as a public transport user. Our relationship had changed … I had changed (Sorry Tram 96, it’s not you, it’s me). I couldn’t relax and listen to my music. I couldn’t concentrate on reading my trashy news, what was going on?
As I looked around my carriage, it became clear to me that majority of the people sitting near me or around me, put simply, annoyed me.
“Get over yourself Nath,” I hear you say? I agree completely.
But I had two choices. 1. To get over myself. Or 2. MAKE A LIST!!
SO I MADE A LIST!
This is a list of the most annoying people on Public Transport (do you recognise any?)
1. The Salami Guy:
How many times have you had to endure the stench of salami from a commuter who has decided to eat their cold meat based lunch, much to the displeasure of you and everyone else in a 25-metre proximity?
2. The pill popper:
I cannot recall the 19-year-old pill popper asking for my permission to blare his dub step out of his earphones at 8.16 am. (I grew up in a household where a strict No Skrillex before lunchrule was enforced)