This Christmas, Kate Miller-Heidke would like to regrow “the greatest bush that the kingdom ever knew”.
Yes, you read that right.
So much so that she wrote a catchy song about it.
Teaming up with The Beards, Miller-Heidke has released what we’re positive is the most awesome (and inappropriate) Christmas track of all time, I’m Growing A Beard Downstairs For Christmas.
Featuring glorious lines such as “growing it big, growing it thick, growing it for you” and “every back, sack and crack was attacked with wax”, this is definitely unlike any other festive tune we’ve heard.
Not that we’re complaining.
Move aside, Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas, and Justin Bieber’s Under The Mistletoe, THIS is Christmas anthem perfection.