It’s never nice to be insulted – unless, of course, the insult hurled at you is so bizarre you can’t help but laugh.
That’s the idea behind a recent Reddit thread, which invited people to share the weirdest (and funniest) insult they’ve ever heard. And they did not hold back…
You could easily while away an entire afternoon reading these special insults – but we’ve rounded up the highlights, just for you.
- “Kid in my 10th grade class told me I looked like a sexy baby. 20 years later I’m still not exactly sure if I should have been offended, or flattered.”
- “I am at a stoplight downtown. I am driving my Saturn. An older gentleman pedestrian screams at me through my open window, “Buy an American car you traitor!” There was a long pause before I quietly said… “This is an American car….” and the light turned green.”
- “Someone once yelled “Learn to drive” at me, while I was learning to drive in a marked student car.”
- “I had a student tell me to “get a spouse” in a derogatory tone.”
- ‘If you look at your facial features in isolation, nobody would want them, but all together, they work really nicely’ Thanks!… wait… that’s not… what?”
- “Me: The A in my name stands for Awesome. Girl that hates me: No the A stands for Idiot!”
- “Imma slice your biscuits” It certainly wasn’t to me, but I heard it during a fight and just… what?
- “Your limp makes you look like a horny pirate.”
- “You are a vending machine of lies!”
- “Why don’t you go chop some wood?” (I have a big beard.)
- “Fuck you, skinny white boy.” (Not skinny. Not white).
- “Oi! You’ve got a bum just like my nan’s!”
- “Look at you, standing there with your elbow halfway up your arm and your teeth in your mouth.”
- “I accidentally cut someone off in traffic and she caught up to me, and as she drove past she yelled out “you stupid, smelly doo doo head!”
- “Your belt buckle is the equator!”
What’s the weirdest insult you’ve ever heard?