lifestyle

Dr Nikki Goldstein: "I'm freezing my eggs."

“I’m freezing my eggs to take the pressure off finding Mr Right,” says Dr Nikki Goldstein.

Dr Nikki is 29 and she’s done her research. She has a degree in psychology, has worked as a family mediator assisting the process of divorce and she’s also a sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She has also just published a book called #singlebutdating.

And now she has decided to freeze her eggs.

The reason? She wants to take some pressure of trying to find the right man to have children.

“Fertility is one of the biggest issues impacting woman’s dating choices these days,” Dr Nikki says.

“Do we choose to settle for Mr Right Now instead of waiting for Mr Right because of our biological clocks? It seems so unfair that our minds have progressed and we have so many choices in life, yet our biological clocks have not shifted with the optimal age to give birth still being very young,” she says.

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Dr Nikki Goldstein author of #singlebutdating is freezing her eggs.

She says there is a stigma associated with freezing her eggs at her age.

“99.9% of people I tell say: ‘Don’t be silly you’ve got time’, ‘You’re too young to worry about that’, ‘Are you putting your career first?’ The last comment drives me crazy considering I work from home and set my own hours.  I’m not choosing my career I’m choosing my life. Even if I found Mr Right NOW – I still would not want children at this moment.  I want to experience my life before I devote it to a child,” she says.

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If your boss would pay to freeze your eggs, would you do it?

Dr Nikki believes so much of how women date is pressured by the loud ticking biological clock.

“By freezing my eggs I’ve removed that ticking clock.  I want to date who I want to date and fall in love rather than be desperate to find someone to have a baby with. It’s giving me more options to have a happy relationship first then a baby second, ” she says.

Some people say I should not be so fussy and just get married so I can have kids.  But because my background was helping people divorce for a living, I know I want to be a happy parent.  I don’t want the added drama of a dysfunctional relationship.  I think it’s important to not pass down negative role modelling to children.  Children from divorced families are more likely to get divorced because that’s what they know,” she says.

She says being a mother is important to her and something she’s always wanted.

“I know I want to be a mother one day.  So this is my investment in me.  I’m not getting emotional about it.  It’s not something I’m going to worry what other people say about me.  It’s something I’m doing for my future self.

“I don’t think we do enough for our future selves.  I’ve had friends say it’s too expensive and yes it costs between $8-12 000 to harvest your eggs and then storage is an ongoing cost of around $30 a month.  I think that is manageable considering the peace of mind it will give me.  They same people who criticise me blow that on a trip to Europe each year,” she says.

You’re close to 30 and not in a relationship. Would you consider this?

But even she was alarmed when she went for the appointment to start the process.

“They did an egg test calculator and by freezing my eggs now my stats, from egg to actual baby, are only 37-40%.  It was the biggest shock. I’d been fed that message that if you freeze your eggs it’s a foolproof option.

“Everyone says you’ve got plenty of time.  But do it now when your eggs are young and you can harvest as many as possible.  The technology to ‘warm the frozen eggs up’ is still not perfected but technology is advancing every year so I’m hopeful.

“It’s such a guessing game.  There’s so much conflicting information.  How do you know how your body will react?  But upping the odds by freezing my eggs was the right choice for me,” she says.

Would you ever consider freezing your eggs? Do you know anyone who has? 

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