I realised today that there is only one thing I really want in life: To one day marry a kind and generous man who most importantly has a four-year-old pimple on his left cheek.
A woman named Khristina Powell lived out our ultimate fantasy earlier this month, and I cannot right now.
You see, her husband Wade Powell had a red spot on his left cheek that she noticed had been there for approximately, oh, four years.
HOW DID YOU WAIT THAT LONG, KHRISTINA? HOW? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
You can watch the video here.
Eventually, it occurred to her that the Internet loves nothing more than pimple popping videos. So she did a community service to all of humanity everywhere by providing one of the best pieces of content we’ve ever seen.
Powell is a qualified nurse, a detail which we think is probably meant to discourage us from trying this at home. No comment.
ANYWHO, she situated both her thumbs on either side of the pimple – in a very medical and professional manner – and squeezed.
Monique Bowley and Holly Wainwright – both non-popper fans – were forced to watch Dr Pimple Popper on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
It’s an avalanche.
There are ribbons of pus. Ribbons.
IT’S CHUNKY. THERE ARE CHUNKS.
At precisely 110 kilometres an hour, pus shoots out of this fine gentleman’s face, and excuse me while I watch it four more times.
There is such an enormous build up that chunks of the pus land on his neck and chest.
It’s f*cking amazing.
Wade Powell himself uploaded the video to Facebook with the caption, “Had this spot on my cheek for along time! This is what happens when your wife is a nurse.. Lol.” Lol indeed.
Excuse me while I watch it again. And again and again. And again.
You can listen to the most recent episode of Mamamia Out Loud, here.
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