Public confession; I am a stalker.
Not the ‘please attend court on Wednesday and don’t go within 200 metres’ type stalker. I’m an online stalker.
In years gone by my fix was usually a quick whip around Facey but with three kids under five I’m no longer available for long, in-depth scrolling. I want some quick funnies and I want them now.
Enter Instagram. Once a forum for sunsets, hot dogs/legs and fitspo pics, Instagram has evolved, and with it we’ve seen the birth of some awesome perv accounts, mum style.
If you’re looking for some real mum Instagram gold, I’d highly recommend you hit ‘follow’ on these beauties.
Zoe Foster Blake @zotheysay
While a lot of people are familiar with her husband Hamish, (from Hamish and Andy fame) it’s actually Zoe that gets my heart a flutter. This chick is the goods on so many levels. She’s a published author, past beauty editor, CEO boss lady of Go-to Skin care and the kind of mum I wish would adopt me.
Her Instagram account is filled with hilarious insights into her life and times. She keeps it lighthearted and dishes out some of the cutest baby spam you’ll find. I’m basically just waiting for the day when she calls me up and asks me if I’ll be her best friend. The answer is yes, Zoe.
Olivia White @HOUSEOFWHITE_
Olivia describes herself as a mum and lifestyle blogger. Having produced her second child only weeks ago, Olivia fills up my Instagram with squishy baby pics and funnies that I often regram and pass off as my own comedy gold. Olivia’s Instagram is seriously relatable and she had me cheering with my pom poms when she recently posted a pic of a real post baby body, complete with granny pants.
Multi-tasking like a boss ???????????? After a night of no sleep, a morning of balling my eyes out over nothing ???? It’s nice to have some mum time, even though both babes are actually with me haha #breastfeedinglikeaboss Thanks @hairbyjacinta @cinandsarhairstudio ???????? A photo posted by ✖️ OLIVIA WHITE ✖️ (@houseofwhite_) on
Mel Watts AKA The Modern Mumma @_melwatts
Here’s another Instagram queen who I’d like to add to my squad (just kidding, I don’t have a squad. I have sticky kids who climb on me) Mel is Mum to super spunk Aiden, adorable Ivie and too-cute-for-words Indie.
We were pregnant at the same time and I followed her Insta page daily. Mel keeps it real and doesn’t hide behind a fake ‘Insta’ world. She is unapologetically raw and makes me feel like another mum ‘gets it’ when the days are long and the kids are feral. There is no sugar coating with Mel’s Instagram page and I love her for it.
Today was long. I was hostage to my own children. My 3 year old has own set of rules and suffers regular bursts of toddler bipolar. My 5 month old doesn’t want to drink bottles but cries because she is hungry. Won’t sleep but rubs her eyes. Suffering babyitis. My 9 year old thinks he is 16 years old and can just do his own thing. Suffering arseitis. My husband didn’t get home until after dinners, baths, tomorrow lunches made and my uterus is having a party with razor blades where I’m not invited. Yet, I survived. And I will do it all again tomorrow in a heart beat. Because when they smile, I smile. Today I was defeated but I’m not lost. I’m right where I want to be. Their Mother. His wife. #mumlife
Jayde won’t know that I frequent her little stationary/homewares shop regularly. It’s about three streets from my house and I’ve been a-wandering in there many times. Filled with funky, bright, exciting things that make my heart flutter it’s the perfect place to peruse if you get someone nice enough to mind your kids for a while. But it’s her Instagram page that really makes me laugh.
Cocobear really missed Iggy…the only family member not cranky at her right now….she decided to run away this morning just as I was waking up. For the soul purpose of…running away because she wanted to…because Malamutes are stubborn little shitheads sometimes. She’s been so good and doing all her training and listening and not killing Thor and just sitting with @lpl_artroom in the carport while he made a chalkboard for a client and he turned around and she bolted ???? we drove to all the places they ride and walk and she was nowhere and the only thing to do was wait because she knows how to get home and then as we are pulling in the driveway she’s just been over the road hanging out…so I didn’t make eye contact all day with her, then @skippinggirlau came for a hello and usually Cocos obsession with people makes her fixate on whoever is visiting and not leave them alone because she wants hugs, but today just before Anna arrived Coco and Thor were wrestling and all riled up and came to say hello and all of sudden Coco bolts up the driveway AGAIN and Thor follows ???????????????? Coco knows that she will die if a car comes but Thor is a puppy so I was more worried about him and Steve runs up and of course eager to please Thor comes back in 12 seconds because that’s what you are meant to do when you’re a dog, and people spend every single day of your life teaching you how to be an obedient dog, and Coco just ran…and Ran…and so Steve went for a drive and eventually found her…Coco is not my friend right now…Thor is the favourite of the day…#cocoisanassholesometimes #ourpolarbearpuppy #alaskanmalamute #stubborn #bigtrouble #thisismyiggy A photo posted by Jayde~LITTLE PAPER LANE (@littlepaperlane) on
Anna Strode @BUBS2BIKINIS
Anna is mum to twin boys Lachie and Samuel. Through her Instagram page she shares healthy eating and workouts tips. I stumbled across Anna’s account one night when I was up feeding my baby (for the hundredth time) and at first I thought I was looking at ‘just another fitness’ profile.
My life as a twin mum is a constant juggling act and filled with multi tasking moments like these. We currently have two unwell bubbas (just a common cold but it won’t give the poor monkeys a break) and while Lachie is hungry for food, all Samuel wants is the boob. What’s a mumma to do when she only has one set of hands – juggle the two as best I can! One thing I have found difficult about being a twin mumma is always attending to the needs of both my gorgeous children. When you have two screaming babies at once and have to calm both of them, it can be overwhelming and heartbreaking at the same time. I often feel like twin babies probably end up crying more than a singleton as you can only bend yourself so many ways – this makes me sad ???????? I hope my boys understand I always do and always will do my absolute best for both of them!! #mumlife #momlife #twinmum #twinmom #mommylife #bbgmums #bbgmoms #breastfeeding #breastfeedingtwins #normalisebreastfeeding #postpartum #mummyblogger #mummy #identicaltwins #twinstagram
A photo posted by WORKOUTS+INSPO FOR BUSY MUMMAS (@bubs2bikinis) on
Rather, Anna shares her personal journey with how exercise helped her in coping with the demands of her new babies and gives tips and inspiration on how other mums can make it work. Frankly I’d be happy to be rocking a body she’s showing off in her ‘before’ pictures but the after’s definitely give me the motivation to get off my butt and start making changes.