fashion

It’s time we addressed the Fitness Onesie situation.

When the “athleisure” trend first started popping up everywhere, I was the first to chuck on my gym tights and declare them a legitimate fashion item.

What an exciting time to be alive! I thought to myself. A time where gym gear is totally acceptable at my mother-in-law’s, at brunch, at the supermarket.

Nike Free trainers and colourful printed tights became about as ubiquitous as the Kardashians. There were rainbows. Sunshine.

But now, dear friends, the clouds have gathered and the athleisure movement has gone too far. I present to thee, the Fitness Onesie.

Fitness onesie

Image: Adidas Stella McCartney collection, $70.

I repeat, the Fitness ONESIE (FO). The fact it’s a clear abuse of the athleisure trend aside (there’s nothing leisurely about this abomination), this is one highly impractical outfit.

I don’t know any human beings who delight in being in a constant state of wedgie (both front and back, do you? Surely it’s like Guantanamo Bay for your genitals down there.

Let's not even begin to start on the primary school dance eisteddfod flashbacks I'm having right now.

I dressed like a human condom to workout and then wrote about it for @glamourmag. Link in bio ????????

A video posted by Esther Levy Chehebar (@estherlevychehebar) on

Comfort aside (because we all know comfort isn’t 100 per cent essential when it comes to farshun) the FO goes against the basic principles of any self-respecting gym goer: it makes you stick out. Like walking around all day with at least four squares of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.

If you are looking to ensure that every time you walk into a fitness class people’s heads turn your way - wear this.

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If you love waiting five minutes to remove garments before being able to pee, wear this.  

I ain't scared to wear a bodysuit in the gym and you shouldn't be either. #body A photo posted by Rachel (@gocrazyrachel) on

If you are after highly unfortunate sweat marks - by all means, wear this.

Glamour UK writer Esther Levy recently wrote about her experience testing out what she aptly describes as the  “human condom” look.

Climbing into one feels a bit like being on a pogo stick with nowhere to pogo… I will say that none of these onesies are conducive to keeping a low profile at the gym."

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Look, as a humble top and tights kinda lady, there’s a large chance I just don’t “get” this trend. There are plenty of women out there who seem to love them - and look pretty damn amazing in them, too.

I’m willing to be proven wrong. But personally, as someone who visits the gym about once every four months, I’d feel a little bit like a fraud donning one of these bad boys.

This is not a trend I’ll be adding to my collection of Adidas tees and The Upside crop tops any time soon.

Would you wear the Fitness Onesie?

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