We need to debrief about the first year of motherhood.

Hi, my name is Gemma, and I am obsessed with looking at photos of my son from when he was just a teeny tiny newborn.

I think it's because I can't quite wrap my head around how much has changed in such a short period of time. My son is now 16 months old and looking back on his first year, it truly was both the longest and shortest of my life.

Now that I have had time to reflect on all the highs and lows, I need to debrief about the first 12 months of motherhood.

Here are the six things quietly blowing my mind.

1. A lot can happen in a month.

One month you could be dealing with a baby who is refusing bottles, unable to crawl and scared of the bath. The next month you could have a child that is constantly on the move, will only drink from a bottle and is water-obsessed.

Baby development in the first year is truly wild.

One minute they're lying on their backs, smiling and cooing; the next they're running around the house like a tornado, yelling "nana" (can I have a banana?) and "ball" (can we play with my ball?).

All of a sudden they're a proper little person. It happens so fast. Image: Supplied. 

Honestly, I wish I had this perspective while in the midst of it all because, while you're in it, every hard bit feels like it'll last forever.

Colic, nipple biting, sleep regressions, food refusal, (other) parent refusal — I know now, with the beauty of hindsight, that any 'problem' or hurdle is fleeting. And it's not just your child who changes drastically; it's you.

In those first few months I couldn't fathom being away from my baby for more than an hour. It panicked me. Would he always be this dependent on me? Would I always be this dependent on him? 

But a year down the track I had a different kid; a little boy who was happy to go to the shops with his dad or the playground with his nanna. 

It was just those first few months that were all-encompassing.

2. Seeing them sick is inevitable. 

I knew I was going to struggle with seeing my child unwell, but I hadn't prepared myself for just how much it could upend the whole family.

The first sickness we came up against was conjunctivitis a few weeks after birth. It was horrible. My son would wake up with yellow goop crusting his eyelids together and after every nap, we'd have to bathe and clean out his eyes with warm water and cotton wool. He hated it, I hated it and of course, that was only the start.

The first snotty nose. The first bout of gastro. The first suspect rash. The first elevated temperature. The first panicked call to the Health Direct line and visit to the emergency department (just to be safe). Unfortunately, they're all rites of passage in that first year of motherhood and most of the time I fell ill with whatever my son had too.

Trying to parent a sick child who only wants you, while also being sick yourself, is one of the hardest parts of motherhood (in my opinion). Unsurprisingly, it takes much longer to kick something when you're not sleeping, which is often the first thing to go when they're sick.

Enter daycare, and that sickness suddenly quadruples. Within our first two months, we had been taken out by four viruses and I've been told it's an unavoidable transition. They either go through it at childcare or later on at school, and honestly, I found it really, really hard.

Parenting a sick kid, while also sick is rough. Image: Supplied. 

Thankfully, my husband (who somehow skipped lots of the sickness), family support and a phenomenal GP got us out the other side. But the reality of this 'phase' really caught me by surprise. 

3. I was warned about the love, but it's so much bigger than I imagined.

I can still remember how I felt when my son first smiled at me. He was six weeks old, it was 6am and we were sitting on the couch watching the sun come up during a morning feed. In that moment, I honestly felt my heart grow a little bigger. 

Motherhood can be a lot of weird things; overwhelming, hard, uncomfortable, lonely, boring. But all of it is overshadowed by the love. 

Helping a little person experience the world for the first time is the greatest honour of my life (thus far). Teaching him to taste, smell, touch and experience happiness and joy has changed my perspective on just about everything.

Children, especially in that first year, have an incredible ability to ground you. Everything that once worried me is insignificant compared to watching my son discover how fun it is to wiggle his fingers.

Don't even get me started on first giggles, first steps and first words. That stuff is addictive, I swear. 

4. Sleep deprivation is one of the hardest things I've endured. 

I don't have a sleeper. I never have. My son has been a contact napper and constant waker since birth and for a lot of that first year, you can throw 'extreme crier' in there as well.

I spent a lot of the first year rocking my son in a dark room.

I spent a lot of the first year researching every sleep tip, training guide and technique on the internet.

Sleep deprivation made me feel crazy. It also made me feel angry, guilty and very sad.

I eventually enlisted the help of a sleep consultant after my son's first birthday, who helped bring us back to basics, checked the foundations (is he cold? Hungry? Overtired?), and gave us the confidence to start properly, consistently allowing our boy to learn how to self-settle.

My son has always preferred to sleep on me, and while that's beautiful and cuddly, it can be a lot when you've got no reprieve. Image: Supplied.

Looking back, I hate that I let the internet make me feel guilty about prioritising my own sleep. Sleep deprivation sucked a lot of joy from the first year of motherhood for me, and it also wasn't helping my son. Not being able to have proper rest wasn't allowing him to fully recharge, leaving him cranky and too overtired to enjoy his days.

I hate, hate, hate how much noise there is around baby sleep. I hate that parents are being bombarded by so much conflicting information on a topic that is so important and crucial to their ability to function.

My only advice if you're in this trench is to go back to basics. Looking back, I don't think my son was warm enough a lot of the time. I wish I reached out for help sooner instead of just gritting my teeth and waiting for it to 'pass' (note: It didn't).

5. The female body is bloody amazing. 

I've always hated the way our society has idolised pregnant bodies and admonished postpartum ones. Having now experienced both myself, I reject that silly notion even more so.

The fact that our bodies grow a human child from scratch all while we carry on living our lives is wizardry.

The fact that our bodies then give birth — all while producing the perfect mix of hormones to make that happen — is nothing short of amazing.

The fact that our bodies produce milk is incredible.

The fact our bodies can (if we choose) sustain our baby's life all by themselves until they're old enough to try solid foods, is kickass. 

And then when our body has finished doing everything it needs to do for our baby, it deflates and contracts and returns to a new state of being. Woah!

My body doesn't look exactly like it did before, but honestly, that would be weird. It has experienced so much incredible stuff in the past 12 plus months, why on earth would I want to erase that fact?

Experiencing the full circle of growing and nurturing a baby in its first year of life has made me even more astonished at how cruel our culture is to women. I have never felt more proud of my body. 16 months in, I can feel that all of my hormones have settled back into their pre-baby state, and my body has found its new centre.

I am also so much more in tune with it now, and I am so much more relaxed about what it looks like. I think because I respect my body a whole heap more now that it's shown me just how powerful it is.

I got married this year. I've never felt more confident and comfortable with my body. Image: Supplied.

I don't know if you missed this subhead, but it's worth repeating, the female body is bloody amazing. 

6. Their first birthday will rock you. 

I thought I was fine. My boy's first birthday fell on a weekday, so the Saturday before we celebrated with cake and presents and singing. It was a lovely day.

But then I woke up on his actual birthday and I felt floored. 

How do I have a one-year-old? How did I give birth a whole year ago? How did that year go so fast? 

The emotions came thick and fast and honestly, I had to go and have a few hours by myself to process. I went to the shops alone for a smoothie, a foot massage and a little moment of reflection.

Every mother I've spoken to has had a similar moment.

Because the first year of motherhood is bigger, harder and brighter than you can ever imagine. It knocks the socks off you in every possible way.

So far, I'm finding the second year a bit calmer, a bit easier. I think I am coming into my own more as a toddler mum. It's definitely more my jam.

But what I wouldn't give to go back to the start for just an hour, to sit on our lounge at dawn and see that six-week-old smile again.

It's true what they say, they really do grow too fast.

To discover if your child is eligible for vaccination against RSV, visit Healthy WA or speak to your doctor, midwife or pharmacist.

This information is general in nature and does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional. As with any vaccination, always seek health and medical advice from a qualified pharmacist or your healthcare professional.

Feature Image: Supplied.