First date essentials:
Lipstick? If he’s lucky.
Slightly inviting / edgy / sophisticated outfit, that’s definitely not trying too hard? Preferable.
Kick-ass and inarguable exit strategy? Absolutely non-negotiable.
Apps like Tinder have turned the dating scene into something resembling the Hunger Games (except we’re nominating ourselves).
Once you’re on that date, it’s anyone’s guess how it’s going to go down – you’ve not ever seen that guy before, he’s not a friend of a friend, you don’t know anything about him… except a very-possibly-photo-shopped picture and a description.
Adrenaline, romance, strategy, maybe some archery… are all first-date possibilities. They’re also why you need an exit strategy.
Listen to Mia Freedman discuss ‘dating exits’ with Jessie Stephens and Monique Bowley on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after audio…
One woman, in Amherst, Massachusetts, has taken the escape strategy to an entire new level of non-negotiable-ness.
Admittedly, she loses points for agreeing to go hiking on a first date (because that’s not very exit-strategy-friendly for the moment you discover he’s actually in love with his mother and obsessed with dead kitten jokes).
But she makes up for this in her elaborate, inarguable, undeniably kick-ass exit strategy.
She got herself rescued from her first date. Yes, rescued.
This gem was shared on Twitter by Alexander Chee, a savvy police blotter (crime log) spotter:
With this as inspiration, we celebrate some of the best exit strategies going around:
The someone-needs-me-and-you-don't-deserve-me emergency exit
Maybe your room-mate just fell in the bath. Maybe your grandmother needs a lift to the specialist. Maybe your brother is having an emergency operation to remove his appendix. Whatever it is, it's urgent and you need to be there. STAT.
To make this work, concoct a story beforehand and get a friend in on it.
I would sneakily send a message to my friend and she would know to call me. She'd be having a "really hard time" and needed me right away. That was my cue to leave. - May, 34.