couples

"How I knew my husband was The One."

Image: Thinkstock

Last week my husband and I celebrated ten years of being “us.”

During our time together we have faced a lot of challenges, as many couples do. A lot of the obstacles were things we didn’t think we would be facing; especially at the times we did. Through it all he has been by my side.

A friend asked me the other night whether I knew he was “The One” from the start and the answer is yes, I think I did.

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Here’s why:

1. He had respect for women.

My husband has two sisters and a very strong network of female friends. When I first met him, I was a little put off by the amount of women he spent his time with. Not that I thought anything was going on with any of them, but I just hadn’t met a man before who had so many close girlfriends. As I got to know him, I developed an appreciation for the special women in his life. They taught him an understanding, an empathy and a great respect for girls that is second nature.

We bet these couples figured out they’d found The One early on…

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2. He never put me down, to anyone.

I can never recall a time where my husband used me as the brunt of a joke. Ever. Of course we laugh and poke fun at each other but never has he used me for cheap social gags or left me feeling singled out and humiliated. I firmly believe that the person who knows you the best should be the last one to make jokes at your expense but yet it sadly happens all the time, often without malicious intent but it’s still just as hurtful.

But perhaps more importantly is that he has never put me down when it’s just us. When no one else is around he supports me, encourages me and never pours cold water on dreams or ambitions. He is my greatest supporter and I’m so thankful he is in my corner.

3. He was committed to me.

He showed he was committed from the start Image: Thinkstock

From the get go, I never felt that he was 'keeping his options open', even when our relationship was in the early stages. It's always awkward when you're first seeing someone to get too involved and committed when they're on a totally different wavelength. Here you are planning couples weekends away, and he still thinks you're just casual seeing each other with the other chicks he is tuning on Tinder.

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My husband made clear to me that it was only me from the start, and that he was committed to supporting our growing relationship without the need to 'see where it goes' or keep a few girls numbers on the side.

That to me indicated I had a good one.

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 4. He broke down barriers.

When I first met my husband I had a lot of walls up, barriers I had created to protect myself from pain and disappointment like so many of us do. He was patient with me. He was understanding and appreciative of my history and over time, he broke down all of my barriers which allowed me to trust in him completely and unreservedly.  The fact that he was dedicated to getting to know the real me, and worked hard at developing trust between us, made it clear that he was "the one".

Image: Thinkstock

 5. He showed that he wanted to be involved in my life.

My family history is um, colourful? I come from a background which carries an awful lot of baggage and frankly a lot of people wouldn't want a bar of it. I won't discuss in length the situation but suffice to say, it's not an easy scenario to walk into, and often it would be easier to walk away.

Instead, my husband showed me from the very beginning that he wanted to be involved in my life, which meant being involved with my family and friends. He showed up to every family function and he made an effort with the people that mattered to me. He tolerates those I have a fractured relationship with and made it clear that he wanted in on all of it whether its easy or not.

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 6. He showed me that I was "enough" for him.

During my younger years I suffered a lot of self esteem issues stemming from various life experiences. I truly didn't believe that I could really be 'enough' for one person to want to spend the rest of their loves with. Though it took a lot of work, my husband showed me that not only was I enough for him, but that I was his everything. There has never been a day since we got together where I have not felt loved, even if we were arguing or going through the inevitable rough patches.

He works hard at keeping friendships

 7. He was hard working.

I understand this is a strange item to put on the list but from the very beginning I knew that my husband was a hard worker. He is dedicated and committed to his work and strives to better himself in all areas. But more so, he is hardworking with his friends and family. He makes time to call and speak with people and doesn't let relationships fizzle out. It's a fantastic quality to have and I am often proud of his commitment to other people and his friendships.

8. He made me want to be a better person

Being around him makes me want to be a better person in myself. All of the qualities I see in him and love him for are enviable and I want to mirror those right back at him. I want him to feel he has a partner in life, and someone of strong, decent character. I want to be that person, for the rest of our lives, so I make a conscious effort to work on myself so I feel worthy of receiving his love.

How did you know your partner was 'The One'? And if you don't have a partner - do you know what you're looking for?

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