It takes three things to be good in bed: education, practical experience and the right attitude. But to truly earn your great-in-bed badge, there’s one thing you must perfect: a signature sex move.
What’s this exactly? Well, only you know the answer to that. It might turn out to be a totally original complex manoeuvre, known only to you and your lovers. (You’ve not only got it trademarked, your exes know if they so much as think of spilling your secret, you’ll send the boys around.) Or it could something as ingeniously simple as a twirl of the tongue, done with such panache it defies description.
Need a little help to work out your personal piece de resistance? All it takes is a little thought and (perhaps) a lot of practice.
Here are four steps to finding your signature sex move:
Step 1: Decide what you’re best at.
The trick is to focus on whatever sex act you enjoy the most. If you like doing something, you’re usually good at it – and if you’re good at something, you usually enjoy it. So you can’t really go wrong if you stick to this simple rule.
If you could cheerfully massage all day long, for instance, there’s your starting point. Teach yourself some sensual massage techniques, top the whole delicious experience off with some erotic genital massage and there you have it: a mind-blowing move they won’t forget in a hurry.
Threesomes have a whole lot of ‘unspoken rules’ you might not know about. Listen to pornstar Madison Missina explain them, on The Prude and The Pornstar. Post continues after audio.
Step 2: Tap into your talent.
Decided on an area you think holds promise? Try out a few different techniques before deciding on one to concentrate on.
For the sake of this exercise, let’s say you’ve decided to become the absolute master/mistress of oral sex. The next time you do it, ask for a running commentary of how different techniques feel. Get them to rate each and everything you do on a scale of 1-10.
What happens when you focus on this part? What about that one? Now alter the pressure, carefully noting whether you’re going up or down in the ratings game. What about in slow motion? Speeded up? Yes, it does take a few sessions to try it all out, but I can’t see your partner complaining, can you?
Step 3: Ask around.
Think you’ve found an erotic innovation that’s uniquely yours? Do a quick survey of all your friends, go online (or watch all the old Sex and The City episodes) to find out how common it is and how well it’s likely to be received. No need to confess what you’re up to, just wait till everyone’s had a couple and start a general conversation about what you want to be expert in. Say you read something about it online and ask what they think is the best tip they’ve ever done/heard of?
Make sure you ask a mix of same and opposite sex friends to get both perspectives.
Step 4: Try it out.
Let all the hints, tricks, tips and research merge into one spectacular sex session with your Iucky-lucky-lucky partner.
At first, concentrate hard on combining everything you’ve learned, but once you’re in the swing, relax into it and let your gut instinct guide you. After all, you chose this because you LIKE doing it, remember?
Sneak a peek to see how they’re enjoying the sensation. If you’ve done your homework and research, there’s only one thing you’ll see - utter ecstasy!
Only one thing left to do now: give yourself a big pat on the back!
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Does your partner have a 'signature move' in bed? Do you? Let us know in the comments below.