By MIA FREEDMAN
Take a deep breath because there’s a small, yet loud handful of women who are angry with anyone who thinks feminism could benefit from the support of men.
And this week, Wendy Squires has been copping it for writing a terrific column praising the men who call themselves feminists and who give their time, their money, their power and their influence to help advance women.
The response has been as predictable as it’s been maddening. And it’s prompted me to write about something I’ve been thinking for a long time now.
There is a type of feminist who is doing – in my opinion – more damage than good for the cause. And because they are so loud on social media, the volume at which their argument rages around the internet is disproportionate to how many agree with it.
Here’s one way of looking at feminism: it’s an exclusive club convened in a small room. A very small room. On the street outside, there are bouncers holding a phonebook-sized book called The Rules of Feminism. The book is authored by some women on Twitter. If you wish to enter the room, you must first answer dozens of questions about your qualifications and credentials. You must not have ever ‘broken’ any one of The Rules Of Feminism at any time in your adult life.
Even once inside, your words, thoughts and actions are tightly and relentlessly policed. More bouncers circulate the small room eagerly looking for transgressions. If someone – anyone – in the tiny, tiny room misinterprets or takes offence to something you say? You’re out. You’ll be frog-marched to the exit and kicked to the curb for the smallest slip of the tongue while those inside jeer and clap you out the door.
Here’s another way of looking at feminism: it’s a huge dinner party held in a massive warehouse. Everyone who genuinely wants to come is invited. The more the merrier. Like any big gathering of people, there are lots of different views among the crowd. Not everyone agrees about everything. Why would they? How could they?
Some people are angry and active, others are more relaxed but still enthusiastic and excited to be there. Some know the hosts intimately. Others don’t know much about the hosts but they’ve heard about the party and it sounded like somewhere they wanted to be. Beyonce is performing in front of her big FEMINIST sign.
Everyone at this giant dinner party knows that the real problems and enemies are outside the party so they spend more time talking about that instead of bitching about the other guests.