Don’t fear birth.
I know the horror stories scare you. I know if you are like I was, you might even fear that you won’t come out of it alive. Labour is a scary word. It’s hard work, there’s a reason it’s called labour. You travel to another place to collect a soul and give it life. That’s wonderful but hard work.
It’s normal to fear birth, it’s normal to worry about you and your baby. Human beings are the only species that doubt our ability to give birth.
My first birth made me vulnerable. I listened to thousands of women tell me “but women have been doing it for years” and I believed I failed, because it wasn’t easy. But I didn’t fail. I just forgot my power. So I took it back, and I came back ready and stronger. I used my power.
You have that power, too.
Listen: I’m scared of birth, can I get a c-section? Post continues after audio.
If you want to go with a five-page birth plan because anxiety is getting to you, do it.
If you want to take pain relief, do it.
If you want to feel every bit of it because you can, do it.
If trauma has hurt you, and you want a cesarean, do it.
You have every right to choose how you want to birth your baby. It’s your body, it’s your baby.
And if things don’t go to plan, you didn’t fail, you did what’s best to get your baby here safely, and what a selfless sacrifice that is. It’s you, showing the love you have for your baby. Never beat yourself up for that. Never. Feel strong that you’re willing to do anything for your baby.
There’s nothing wrong with having a cesarean. There’s nothing wrong with a vaginal birth. Whether you birth in a bath, or a hospital, whether you have a VBAC or drugs. There is nothing wrong. What is wrong is when a mother is judged unfairly. Ignore judgements. Ignore people who only speak negatively about things they know nothing about, they don’t know you, your story or your baby. The way you give birth doesn’t change how you love your baby. Nor does it dictate how your baby loves you.
You deserve to be celebrated. You grew a baby, you gave life to a baby, and you birthed it. Whether that is vaginal, cesarean, with pain relief or no pain relief, you did it. YOU!
Birth is normal, fear is normal, and you, never underestimate yourself, because you mama, you are powerful.