Right. Someone call Spielberg.
When I was a kid, I had a legitimate addiction to The NeverEnding Story.
I carefully taped it onto a video when it was on TV one night and I watched it just about every weekend after that. I actually nearly wore out the VHS – that’s how much I loved Atreyu and Bastian and the Childlike Empress.
In a recent fit of
nostalgia stupidity, I decided to re-watch it. It’ll be magical, I said. It’ll take me back to my delightful childhood, I said.
It wasn’t, and it didn’t. I’m not exaggerating at all when I say my heart splintered into a million sad little pieces.
It was…kind of lame? The graphics, the acting and the dialogue were much less impressive than I remembered. I still love the story – but the movie just isn’t as good as I remembered.
But it got me thinking – isn’t it about time we got (good, non-lame) remakes of all our favourite childhood movies?
And then I answered myself: Yes, yes it is.
So here’s my official request, Hollywood. Thanks.
1. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.
Best. Movie. Ever. The premise was crazy – about a group of kids forced to go to work after their horrible babysitter died while their mum was on holiday. But it made working 9-5 look so fun.
I’d love to see it revamped and brought into 2015. Minus the shoulder pads.
I could see Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland slipping into Christina Applegate’s role. Who’s with me?
2. The Goonies.
I want this to be remade for the good of The Children of Today. Because this movie had action, romance, pirates, treasure, and even Corey Feldman (before he got creepy).
I’d love to see it re-done with a teen star of today. Maybe Ansel Elgort?
So moving. So touching. I wanted an alien of my very own after watching this.
I’d like to see a new non-’80s version with a more realistic-looking alien though (don’t shoot me). And I reckon Quvenzhané Wallis would be perfect in Drew Barrymore’s old role.
So cute and terrifying at the same time. I actually had nightmares about the scary Gremlins for years after watching this.
That’s why I demand a remake – it’s only fair today’s kids are similarly scarred.
David Bowie? In a kids’ movie? Whatever, it worked.
And he’s hardly aged a day since 1986, so he could slip right back into the same role. Done.
6. The Princess Bride.
I know, it’s a cult classic. But I reckon they could make it EVEN BETTER today. Right?
My suggestion? To get Game of Throne’s Maisie Williams in there somewhere. We know she knows her way around a sword…
This was another batshit ’80s kids’ movie (what was with that era, anyway?) It was full of dark humour and great costumes – but imagine what they could do with it special effects-wise today…
Shailene Woodley would nail Winona Ryder’s Lydia.
8. The Wizard of Oz.
Nothing will beat the original – I still dream of owning a pair of my very own ruby slippers.
But imagine a Dorothy played by, I dunno, Emma Watson? Perfection.
9. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
What could be more fun and magical than being 5cm tall and RIDING ANTS??!! Nothing, that’s what. And I reckon this movie would be even cooler with modern technology and effects. Imagine that movie in 3D…
10. Now and Then.
If you didn’t watch this at approximately 5000 sleepovers as a kid, you didn’t really have a childhood.
It brought us an all-star cast, including a young and studly Brendan Fraser. It was and is perfection – which is why we need more.
And now that Christina Ricci, Thora Birch and Gaby Hoffmann are grown up in real life (sadly Ashleigh Aston Moore, who played Chrissy, passed away in 2007), it would be awesome to see them reprise their old roles.
The good news is there are rumours of an actual Now and Then remake. So get excited.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the original – ONJ at her finest, and John Travolta before he discovered Scientology and chin nubbins.
But I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing for a 2015 version with a healthier message – one where Sandy doesn’t have to change her entire looks and personality to get a boyf. I’d like to see someone badass, like Anna Kendrick, play a more modern Sandy.
Which beloved childhood movie would you like to see remade?
Check out our gallery of the MM Team’s favourite childhood movies. Remember these?