beauty

"The advice my father gave me every time I criticised my body."

August 16, 2015

Image: iStock.

By: Jenna Meyer.

I was 16 and staring at my bikini-clad body in a full length mirror, a disgusted scowl on my face.

“My legs are too short and fat,” I said, squeezing the flesh on the backs of my thighs to make them appear thinner.

My father looked at me and shook his head. “You’re perfect.”

I rolled my eyes.

“And my waist isn’t small enough. I look like a square. Like a boy.”

Again, and with the same earnestness, he said, “You’re perfect.”

All of it was right there. How could he not see?. (Image via iStock.)

August 16, 2015

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It went on like this—me picking apart my teenage, still-growing body. I could always find something.

And still, he said, “You’re perfect.”

"Stop it. I'm not. Don't you see this fat and these stretch marks?"

I was frustrated and angry. Couldn't he just agree with me? All of it was right there. How could he not see?

My phone buzzed—a text from my friends who were waiting outside. I threw on shorts and a T-shirt and ran along.

From the front door he called out, “You’re perfect!”

Five years later, I see.

I see that without my father, it might have taken me much longer to be where I am, in terms of the love I have for my body.

I see that when he closed that door as I ran off—he might have stood there for a moment and stared at a blank spot on the wall.

Maybe he cried a little. But he didn’t give up on me. He refused to leave me there—in that corner of my mind, where I viewed myself in such a distorted manner. (Post continues after gallery.)

We love these celebrity body image quotes

Rebel WilsonThe actress said on Twitter; "I'm not trying to be hot. I'm just trying to be a good actress and entertain people."

Image via @rebelwilson

Adele"The first thing to do is be happy with yourself and appreciate your body - only then should you try to change things about yourself."

Image via Getty

Lady GagaAfter the media focused on her alleged weight gain in September 2012, Gaga hit back at critics by baring her body in photographs, sharing her struggles with an eating disorder, and inviting her fans to join her in a "body revolution"/ Image via @ladygaga

Ashley JuddAfter the March 2012 frenzy around Judd's "puffy face" the actress fought back in 'The Daily Beast', calling the media out for making women's bodies "a source of speculation, ridicule, and invalidation, as if they belong to others". Image via @ashley_judd

Christina Aguilera"I am always in support of someone who is willing and comfortable in their own skin enough to embrace it," the singer said in a recent interview. Image via @xtina

Lena DunhamAt the 2012 New Yorker Festival, the magazine's TV critic, Emily Nussbaum, asked Lena Dunham, producer, creator and star of the hit HBO show 'Girls' why Dunham is naked in so many scenes.

Dunham responded; "I realised that what was missing in movies for me was the presence of bodies I understood." She said she plans to live until she is 105 and show her thighs every day. Image via @lenadunham

Alexa ChungChung responded to critics who suggested that her slight frame made her a bad role model for young women, saying:

"Just because I exist in this shape doesn't mean that I'm, like, advocating it." Image via Twitter @alexa_chung

Stella BoonshoftThe NYU student started the amazing Body Love Blog, where she posted this picture of herself and wrote an open letter to those who feel entitled to shame others for the size or look of their bodies. Image via http://thebodyloveblog.tumblr.com"> Body Love Blog

Beth DittoThis five-foot-tall, 200-pound singer spoke openly about her weight to 'The Advocate' saying, "I feel sorry ... for people who've had skinny privilege and then have it taken away from them. I have had a lifetime to adjust to seeing how people treat women who aren't their idea of beautiful and therefore aren't their idea of useful, and I had to find ways to become useful to myself." Image via @marybethditto

I imagine it was tough. It would have been easy for him to shrug his shoulders and leave me be. He could have told himself that it was a phase—that I would grow out of it. But he didn’t, and it made all the difference.

When I look in the mirror now, as a 21-year-old young woman, I tell myself that I am perfect.

I also think of my father and smile.

If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that if someone tells you that you’re beautiful or lovable or worthy—it is probably true.

And how scary is it to see the good in ourselves? Imagine all of the things we could do if we just realised our own beauty.

The next time someone pays you a compliment, I challenge you to say: “Thank you.”

Stand in front of a mirror and repeat it. Believe it.

Take the plunge.

Chances are, someone has been waiting for you to do this for a long time.

Thanks, Dad.

This post originally appeared on Elephant Journal. You can view the original here.

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