Well. Today I learned that you can absolutely burp up a fart.

I have a friend named Fred who insists he once burped up a fart.

Fred had been constipated for two weeks. He desperately wanted to go to the toilet, but nothing he did worked. He was panicking.

Then, one night, he found himself at the footy.

With a beer in hand, he burped. And it tasted like fart.

“I swear on my life there was faecal matter in there,” Fred yells at least once a week, despite the fact no one asked.

“I’d been blocked up. And there was no other way out,” he always adds defensively.

But today, something happened. And we mustn’t tell Fred.

Because you can absolutely burp up a fart and we all owe him an apology.

If you hold in a fart, according to the University of Newcastle’s Professor Clare Collins, then it will come out your mouth hole which is highly upsetting information.

“Some gas [will be] reabsorbed into the circulation and exhaled in your breath,” and holy sh*t there’s such thing as fart breath.

“The next time you feel a large volume of intestinal gas getting ready to do what it does, try to move to a more convenient location,” Professor Collins helpfully advises. “The best thing for your digestive health is to just let it go.”

Listen to the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud which has precisely nothing to do with burping up a fart. Which is nice. Post continues below…

Look.

That’s all well and good.

BUT IF YOU CAN BURP UP A FART CAN YOU FART UP A BURP Y/N.

Oh goodness the answer is yes.

Ahem.

Burps are made up of the air we swallow. So when we eat our food, or consume carbonated beverages, our bodies are taking in oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide.

These gases will usually emerge in the form of a burp.

If you don’t burp, according to Dr Lawrence Kim, “it can go down into your digestive system and cause flatulence or indigestion”.

This is a lot to take in all at once and we will need the rest of the week off.