I have a friend named Fred who insists he once burped up a fart.
Fred had been constipated for two weeks. He desperately wanted to go to the toilet, but nothing he did worked. He was panicking.
Then, one night, he found himself at the footy.
With a beer in hand, he burped. And it tasted like fart.
“I swear on my life there was faecal matter in there,” Fred yells at least once a week, despite the fact no one asked.
“I’d been blocked up. And there was no other way out,” he always adds defensively.
But today, something happened. And we mustn’t tell Fred.
Because you can absolutely burp up a fart and we all owe him an apology.
If you hold in a fart, according to the University of Newcastle’s Professor Clare Collins, then it will come out your mouth hole which is highly upsetting information.
“Some gas [will be] reabsorbed into the circulation and exhaled in your breath,” and holy sh*t there’s such thing as fart breath.