Do you… smell that?
It smells like… the weekend.
It’s Thursday, people, which means it’s SO CLOSE. We can feel it approaching. (Thank Christ because the office drinks cart is nearby and it looks a little too enticing right now.)
Let’s dive into some juicy celebrity stuff, shall we?
1. Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham literally just livestreamed her “rejuvenated vagina” and.. sorry… what?
So many questions. So little time. So much forehead pain from eyebrows threatening to fly off forehead.
Ahem. Farrah Abraham's vagina. Discuss.
Last month the Teen Mom star turned porn personality underwent a "non-invasive" laser treatment to have everything 'down there' restored to - literally - the state of a 16-year-old's vagina.
We wish we were joking, but that's the terminology the expert in charge - Abraham's registered nurse, Sara Fowler - used. Basically, the lasers promise to make everything about your hoo-haa "tighter" for what will supposedly be 'a dramatic increase in sexual satisfaction'.
Whether they deliver on that promise is anyone's guess.
(Reminder: no, you do not need to have a 16-year-old's vagina. Your vagina is just fine. These people want your money and to do that they need you to think your vagina is not fine. They are wrong. Your vagina is FINE. It's a freaking vagina. But we digress...)
To debut her rejuvenated vagina, today Abraham teamed up with 'CamSoda' - a pornstar webcam streaming service - to show the world (read: pervy dudes with not many hobbies) her new anatomy.
The website crashed. Twice.
What a world we live in, hey?
2. Sophie Monk's future wedding will be a low-key affair with tinnies, thanks
Having already confirmed that she's found ~ the one ~ on The Bachelorette (which premieres on Channel 10 next Wednesday) Sophie Monk is now talking weddings. But if you think the 37-year-old has been dreaming of a Cinderella-style affair, you've got another thing coming.
"If he [Monk's boyfriend] wanted to do that I would, but I would prefer not to because my whole life has been getting ready for a red carpet, which is exactly what a wedding is anyway - hair, makeup, styling," Monk told OK! Magazine this week.
"So on my wedding day the last thing that I want is to do all of that again,' Sophie added.
Thongs, tinnies and a barbeque down by the beach it is, then.
3. Victoria's Secret model Behati Prinsloo announces second pregnancy with bikini selfie
South African supermodel Behati Prinsloo and singer Adam Levine have taken to social media to announce the pending arrival of their second baby.
"ROUND 2," 28-year-old Prinsloo wrote alongside an Instagram image showing her pregnant belly between a two-piece bikini.
The famous couple were married in July 2014 and over two years later their first child, daughter Dusty Rose, was born in September 2016.
Speaking about his fatherhood experience last year, Levine told Ryan Seacrest, “I don’t know anything, but it’s part of the beauty of it, honestly. There are a lot of instincts, a lot of things that kick in and switch on. It’s a beautiful experience.”
The soon to be dad-of-two added, “I want to have 100 kids. I want to have more kids than is socially responsible.”
So watch this space. And then some.
4. Prince Harry has taken Meghan Markle to meet the Queen and everything is falling into place, people
Good news. The infiltration of the royal family is going exactly how we planned.
Prince Harry has reportedly taken his girlfriend, Meghan Markle to meet his grandmother - the QUEEN - meaning the Canadian outsider should have access to the crown jewels by the end of the year. Or not.
A source 'close to the couple' has confirmed the 36-year-old Suits actress' introduction with Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth 11 at her summer residence, Balmoral Castle in early September "went well".
The women talked about how Meghan thinks Harry might be 'the one' as the Queen spoilt her with jewels while Harry wasn't looking, the source 100 per cent did not confirm.
Considering Kate Middleton had to wait five years before being considered enough of a 'sure thing' to meet Liz, Meghan is doing very nicely indeed.
5. Heidi Klum may have broken up with her partner of three years. We repeat: MAY HAVE
In the world of celebrity relationships, a picture can tell a thousand words. But an absence of pics, on the other hand, spells trouble.
It's upon this alternate fact that some have reason to believe O.G. supermodel and TV presenter, Heidi Klum may have broken up with her partner of three years, Vito Schnabel.
Look, the story goes the pair haven't been seen out together in the real world "at all recently", a 'friend' reportedly blabbed, meaning their relationship is surely down the tubes.
The mum-of-four even attended an event alone, the poor thing, hanging out with her friends at the Harper's Bazaar Icons event in New York over the weekend.
Ugh. Hanging out with girlfriends is the worst, huh?
Maybe they're just enjoying each other's company indoors catching up on Game of Thrones - it would take an awfully long time to get through all seven seasons.
Or maybe they are taking time apart - your guess is as good as ours. Whatever the reason, here's hoping they're both healthy and happy. Watch this space.