Becoming a mother at 16 and then again at 18 was the best thing that happened to me, and I really feel that despite my age, mothering always came naturally to me.
It shouldn’t come at a surprise that now, at 21, I’m seriously considering having our third baby even in the midst studying third year law full time. Motherhood has brought me so much joy and given me so much direction and determination.
Before falling pregnant at 15 years old, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life – which is pretty normal for any 15-year-old.
But after having my daughter Ruby, now 6, I knew my biggest goal was achieving my dream of getting into law at university and being the best mum I could be.
Top Comments
As the author alludes, it's hardly surprising (nor worthy of a headline) that she lost her friends as a teenager: one can hardly expect most teens would have any interest in, or much in common with someone consumed with being a mother. However, now the author is an adult, she should perhaps cast her net a little wider and not base her search for connections and friendships based on whether someone has children or not. This is the mistake many mothers make: they restrict their social circles to other mothers, and then wonder why they feel they are missing out.
The author totally understands why her 16yr old friends drifted away. It's justified but doesn't make the feelings of hurt and loneliness go away. Being stuck at home day after day, week after week, month after month while everyone else is out having fun is an AWFUL feeling.
It's very easy making friendships with other mothers, as you have a mountain of experience to share and bond over, plus they understand if you change plans because of sudden illnesses etc. There's a time in life when these friendships are invaluable. Once the babies start getting bigger, then it's easier to make friends with other women when you can take up hobbies again. I've met a lovely bunch of women at my local gym. But a year ago when I was still breastfeeding, it would have been impossible for me to do this.
The author has older children, and feels she cannot make friends at university because few students have children of their own. This to me suggests she has a rather blinkered view of forming friendships.
I hope she gives them a chance. My MIL went back to uni as a mature student with four young kids. She made two great friends, both only 18 when they met, and stayed close for over 25 years. Be open, you never know who you’ll meet!
I think being an undergrad would be tough. It's all drinking/parties/hanging out. None of that is possible when kiddies need to be bathed, fed and in bed by 7/8pm. Maybe some older people are in her courses though. I doubt she's looking to join a 'mums only' club. It's just the logistics of it all that makes things hard.