Have you seen the new Hansel and Gretel movie? I haven't. But if it's based on a fairytale then don't take the kids unless you want to traumatise the perishers.
It had been ages since I read a fairytale. But my daughter is now old enough to get among them so I bought a big colourful book (which, shamefully, attracted GST) and set about frightening the bejesus out of her.
I hadn't intended to frighten her. My mouldy memory recalled fairytales as happy stories with rainbows and frogs finding their inner prince. Not a lot of real life going on there. But do four-year-olds need real life or a protective coating to the harsher realities that await them when their parents no longer cut the crusts off their lunch?
The excitement was tangible. My daughter devoured her dinner on the promise of the new book and put her head on her pillow with such enthusiasm that I thought what was intended as an investment in somnolence would in fact prove to be counterproductive.
I had barely begun reading a few lines when I remembered that most fairytales have savage beginnings or overtones.
“Daddy, what's an overtone?''
“It's a bedtime drink, sweetheart. Let's move on.''
At her request I started with Cinderella. Two lines in there is mention of a dead mother. Four lines in the father carks it. Cinderella remains alone in the company of an evil stepmother with eyes that glow in the dark and two stepsisters who taunt and tease at every opportunity. But apart from that brat pack and a bastard cat things turn out pretty well for ole Cinders.