Cc: Mark Zuckerberg.
Today the God of Facebook aka Mark Zuckerberg announced that the social media platform would be receiving a brand new feature.
A “Dislike” button.
Obviously this is a welcome edition for anyone who has ever been forced to “Like” a post about someone’s pet dying, their public transport fine or the unfortunate demise of a couple’s relationship in order to acknowledge its existence.
Mr Zuckerberg says that it won’t be a negative thing… so not a “Dislike” button exactly, more of a way to help you “express empathy” or show solidarity to your friends.
The title of the button hence remains TBC.
With that in mind, we have a few suggestions.
1. You will regret posting this.
For when you see something so bloody stupid in your news feed that you want to get your driver’s licence so you can walk to your parents’ house, borrow their car and drive over to the house of the person who posted it and scream WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? in their probably very-surprised face.
2. This is a hack.
A button to alert your friend that their Facebook has been compromised.
3. Stop trying to inspire me.
No. I don’t want to get up today. I don’t care how short life is, I am determined to spend it in my bed not seizing opportunities.
4. Get a bloody room.
Oh, you’re in a relationship? I couldn’t be sure from the FIFTY other photos you’ve posted of you and your partner adorably eating chips by the seaside. Can you get a room already? Sheesh.
5. Quit humble-bragging.