If only I had a time machine…
I am barreling towards the big 4-0. What once felt like eons away is almost upon me. Rather than becoming despondent though, I kind of feel upbeat.
Sure, there are always regrets and sliding door moments that could have made me a completely different person today – but I think, all in all, I’m happy with the way things have worked out.
But if I did get the chance to hop in a time machine and meet my younger self, there are a few things I’d like to tell her. 18 things in fact.
1. Use sunscreen. Seriously. Not only that, don’t use coconut oil or any other tan enhancer. Your 40-year-old skin will thank you for it.
2. Don’t worry when that guy you think you can’t live without dumps you. By all means feel the emotions, but know that the hurt ends and you will meet a much lovelier guy. (By the way, you totally dodged a bullet with that one.)
3. Save some money. No, hear me on this: instead of throwing it away, put some in an account you can’t touch. Call it your rainy day fund because when that tropical low hits, believe me, you’re going to need it.
4. Don’t forget to stay in contact with your friends. You will get busy and one day there will be this thing called Facebook (and also Patrick Dempsey gets really hot) but seriously, call your friends, and go out with them – because soon life will get in the way.
5. Don’t keep buying cars. Just STOP. I know you get restless, I know you want a better, brighter, shiny car and everyone else seems to have one. But I can guarantee you this: they are nothing but money drainers.
6. Study what you love. That’s right, don’t listen to anyone else. It’s a cliché but it’s true: you’ll never work a day in your life if you’re doing what you love. Heads up: You do NOT love numbers.
7. I’m not sure I can shout this loud enough and because you are young and have perfectly plump skin you don’t yet get it, but for the love of god, throw some cream on your legs, neck, arms and face as often as you can. And never stop.
8. You are not fat. In fact, lady, you are the skinniest you’ll ever be. I know, it’s hard and you are trying to keep up and want to look your best, but don’t diet. Please don’t do that. It will just send you stir crazy.
9. Talk to your mother. She has so much wisdom, knowledge and so many stories. Get her to tell you these before she’s not around to tell them at all.
10. Watch every John Hughes movie. Oh, wait, you’re already doing that, so continue.
11. The ‘pull-out’ method is not a reliable form of contraception.
12. Your teased fringe is not a good look. I don’t care who told you that it is, it’s an abomination and let’s not even talk about your contribution to the ozone layer with all the hairspray you’ve used so far. Stop now.
13. Keep your bedazzler. It’ll be worth a fortune on this thing called eBay one day.
14. Get out of your comfort zone. Go see some movies or concerts you wouldn’t usually see. You might be surprised by what you actually like.
15. Pay attention to that band you sneak in to see in 1992. They’ll be pretty big soon after that. They’ll be known as Nirvana and you won’t have them long enough.
16. Ask your mum for her recipes. No one makes a curried egg jaffle like your mother and you need to get that recipe from her before it’s too late.
17. No, I’m not talking about the great outdoors; I mean your lady garden. No, you don’t have to be extreme, I know you’re still young, but you do need to keep that shit under control.
18. Don’t be afraid to take risks. You sat on your hands for a lot of your life and let things pass you by. Don’t make that mistake a second time.
So that’s what I’d go back in time and tell my younger self. What would you tell yours?
Here are some of our favourite 'coming of age' flicks, should you need a few more suggestions:
Want more? How about: