I’m a writer, which means when it comes to anything literary, I’m always right.
(OK, fine. That’s actually not strictly true.)
What this means is I am very rarely shocked by my own errors in the English language. But when I am? It’s the necessary pop to my ego bubble I often need. It’s refreshing. Humbling. Hilarious.
Like, here’s a good one: when I decide to nip things in the butt.
Nip it. In the butt. The butt? Nope: the bud. I should really avoid nipping people on their bottom, and aim for snipping the intersection of an undeveloped flower and its stalk instead.
And don’t ever get me started about knocking over my errands in one foul swoop. That’s never appropriate.
Even Hollywood heavyweights are not immune to the odd slip up. I was in hysterics recently watching poor Patrick Dempsey being schooled by Today‘s salty dog Richard Wilkins on the, er, corRECT use of the term, ‘traveller’.
“What’s a traveller?” yelled Patrick Dempsey, clearly amused at his blushing hosts.
Leaning over, Wilkins had a word. “Pipe down, McDreamy,” we can only assume he whispered. “You’re yelping about getting a Bus Boner on live TV. It’s more than our fluttering hearts can take right now.”
Meanwhile, did YOU know that a traveller was an erection obtained on public transport? No? Me neither.
Asking around the office of fellow Always Right Writers, some absolute corkers have emerged of not-quite-right sayings they’ve recently been alerted to.
One lovely lady thought “How’s your father?” meant that someone or something was a bit rough around the edges. Erm, no. To ask ‘How’s your father?’ is referring to doing the deed. (Sex. It means sex.)