We have reviewed your employment contract for Mothers’ Day and have found that it does not meet the National Employment Standards.
Your normal hours of work (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) are well above the maximum weekly hours. Working on weekends, public holidays and wake-up calls in the middle of the night can be considered unreasonable, especially since you receive no penalty rates, no loading and no leave. In fact, it appears as though your children (Employer) require a weekly salary from you in the form of pocket money.
It has come to our attention that bathroom breaks are not permitted unless they are a group activity. The list of duties also seems excessive, including CEO of the family unit; personal shopper; chauffer; counsellor; stylist; homework tutor; daily court appearances as sibling arbitrator; and blanket fort engineer. While unquestionably necessary for the role, we would query the physical ability of a person to grow additional bodily appendages, more specifically ‘eyes in the back of her head’.
Deference to the Employer’s definitive wisdom across all subject matters would appear to be an imbalance of power. Additionally, the Fair Work Act does not recognise tantrum-based dispute resolution procedures.
However, the annual incentives of breakfast in bed and a hand-painted coffee mug or picture frame on Mothers’ Day hold immeasurable value. Your total fixed remuneration of the priceless love of your children is sufficient to know that you would not trade a single sleep-deprived moment for the world.