- God these city streets are biz-ay.
- Oooh! Is that an easy park up there?
- Nope, just a teeny tiny hatchback parked really close in. Again.
- Hatchback owners are such deceitful little jerks.
- Oh my god.
- Wait.
- There’s a parallel park. In a non-ticketed spot.
- Does the council do this on purpose to… taunt us?
- Should I try it?
- I’m gonna try it.
- Oh god there’s a whole queue of cars waiting behind me already.
- Okay okay okay shut up so I can channel my inner Goddess of Coordination.
- I am one with the car, the car is one with me.
- We are synced. We are kindred spirits.
- Visualise the parallel park. BE the parallel park.
- Alrighty. Indicator ON.
- Let’s just mosey on up to the adjacent car’s side mirror here and pray I don’t get stage fright.
- What did my car instructor say in 2007? Was it a full wheel turn, or a half turn?
- Now that I think of it, I haven’t done a parallel park since getting my Ps.
- This oddly feels like the time I forgot to bring undies to swimming lessons in primary school.
- Let’s go with a… half… turn?
- Hmmmm.
- Um.
- I actually hate myself. That was completely wrong.
- Shit.
- I am legitimately in the middle of the road right now.
- Breathe. Just breathe. Let’s try it all again. Just remember the golden rule: No matter what you do, do not turn around to see the face of the driver behind you.
- Oh god that lady looks maaaaad.
- She definitely knows how to parallel park.
- Okay, full wheel turn this time.
- Betterrrrr…
- Beeeeeettteeeeerrrrrrrr…
- Beeeeeeeeeeetttttttteeeeerrrrrrrrrrr…
- Now just to flip around the other way.
- No.
- Oh God no.
- WHAT WAS THAT BANG?
- Please be the kerb, please be the kerb.
- It was the kerb, THANK GOD IT WAS THE KERB.
- What the eff do I do know?!
- This was the worst idea ever.
- I can’t drive.
- I need a cup of tea.
- I need to be held.
- I need mum.
- I need to get out of here.
- LEG IT.
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