Behold, the 12 emotional stages of a pedicure.


Images: Giphy

A pedicure seems like it’s the perfect beauty ritual to de-stress, but in reality it’s a social minefield fraught with emotions. In what is the ultimate first world problem, we look at the 12 thoughts everyone has had during a pedicure.

1. Fear.

You know it, I know it: not all nail bars are created equal. You hover outside wondering, 'Will this place give me a staph infection?' Your only option is to take the gamble. That, or you could read our excellent post, 'How to avoid a nail infection at the salon' here.

2. Indecision.

You may make life or death decisions all day at work, but faced with that wall of 75 nail polish colours you’ve never made such a hard decision in your life.

3. Regret.

Dammit you think to yourself, why did I go for blue? I wanted something different, but that woman sitting next to me really looks good with black/pink/coral toes. I should have chosen that shade. WHY AREN'T I BETTER AT THIS?

4. Embarrassment.

Why is it that on the one day you choose to wear a short skirt or dress it coincides with the one time you treat yourself to a pedicure? If you’re at a good salon they’ll offer you a towel to throw over your lap. This is the pedicurist's way of throwing you a bone, and not having to look at your undies for the next 30 minutes.

5. Shame.

You just realised you forgot to shave your legs. Awkward.


‘I’m sorry, it’s been a while...’ you say, apologising for your disgusting feet while yes, they’re probably judging you.


7. Pain.

One of the best things about getting a pedicure is the leg and foot massage; the massage chair is an added extra. You switch it on, thinking 'Why not, I’m gonna treat myself'. That is, until you’re 10 minutes in and the chair is punching you in the kidneys.

8. Pain, again.

It’s time for the leg massage, you’re looking forward to this bit, it's the whole reason you're here. Except the therapist squirts out a granular scrub and takes to your legs like she’s sanding a piece of furniture. Yeouch.

9. Paranoia.

If you’re at a salon where the main language being spoken is one you’re not familiar with, chances are you’ve had a moment where you've thought, 'Is everyone laughing at me?' If you've nodded your way through 1-8, then probably yes.

10. Embarrassment, again.

Your polished toes are done and now it’s time to sit under the lights to dry, but not before an awkward dance takes place. This is where your pedicurist tries to put your thongs / inappropriate shoes on and you seem to have forgotten how to operate your feet. You apologise, again.

11. Shame, again.

You had one job to do and that was not immediately smudge your toenail paint, but you failed. Now you’ve got the choice to suck it up or point out your total failings as a human being.

12. Joy.

It's over. You're out of there, and your toes have never looked shinier. Even if you're still not sure about the colour...