I am acutely aware that the following is a ridiculous and trivial situation. But I seek your counsel none the less.
On Friday night, I was preparing to go out to a very groovy evening. I had been invited to see Madonna‘s producer/DJ play in a tent in the city and there were to be hipsters, a pop up noodle market and craft beer! This event wasn’t in any old army surplus tent mind you, it was a super dooper dome situation flown in from New York.
Obviously this was serious business. So it required an equally serious outfit.
I have my own way of dressing (to put it mildly). If you think a combination of Freddie Mercury and Bjork with a light dusting of Madonna circa 1989 – you may be somewhere near where I land in terms of fashion choices.
As I got dressed on Friday night I felt good. I felt fresh. I felt like I was pushing the boundaries a little but not so much that people would feel inclined to throw food at me.
I had chosen a high-waisted leopard print skirt purchased from Zara that day, (at a BARGAIN price of $34 mind you!) some black suede ankle boots, an oversized heart pendant and my leather crop top.
As is tradition before I go out, I paraded my outfit for my children to see. Odette, six, who has the exact same dress sense as me just with more pink and glitter involved, said “You look very fancy Mum”. I smiled, enjoying the glowing review probably a little too much.
My eldest Marchella, 12, said: “No Mum”.
I was confused.
“What do you mean no? Don’t you like the skirt? The shoes? Should I wear heels not boots? It is going to be dusty, there will be hipsters. I don’t think hipsters like heels…”
Marchella pointed a long, judgmental tween finger at my amazing on-trend leather crop top and said: “That top. You are too old to wear a crop top”.
For the record, I am 34.
I stood and stared at her. Her words falling around me like dead autumn leaves, a fog of disbelief filled my head. I shook it, “I’m sorry, what now”? I responded. “It sounded as though you just said I was too old to be wearing this amazing leather crop top. Obviously my ears are playing tricks on me as no child grown, loved and cherished in my very womb would ever say that to me”.
Marchella just stood there slowly shaking her head. I immediately went to Odette for back up.