Before we really get into this, no, I never actively sought to become a Bachelor conspiracy theorist.
It happened. Accidentally. And as much I would apologise, I would like to say that so far, none of my theories have fallen through. I would also like to add that I hate myself, and you can too. (But not before you acknowledge that however trivial this may be, I do have a very strong, scientific, facts-based point.)
Great. Shall we? The faster we go, the faster we are out of here, and less chance someone can catch you reading this over your shoulder. Because the only thing worse than the creator of Bachelor conspiracy theories is a bandwagon-er. Which is, well, you. Ha.
LISTEN: Desperate for more less-than-legitimate Bachelor theories? Michelle Andrews and I have your back…
Elise won’t win The Bachelor. I think you might know that, a tiny bit, deep down, in your Laura-is-going-to-win gut that was born in early August, and soon after the life drawing date of dreams.
Many-a-News-Corp headline have Elise as the new “frontrunner” and Sportsbet has seen her odds come in significantly from about $6 to $3.50 – making her the second favourite – in the last week or so. Yes, there are humans that bet on The Bachelor. Yes, I feel better about myself.