I don’t think there is anything more wonderful than being able to pick yourself up out of bed, make yourself look beautiful and head over to a café to have breakfast by yourself. You’re alone, you can enjoy your food at your own pace and get things done. You’re reading the newspaper, you’re taking Instagrams of your muesli and you’re remembering why it’s so great to have time alone with yourself every once in a while.
Self-dating is underrated and I aim to make it come back. Only a very slim selection of my friends can actually spend quality time dating themselves. Taking themselves to the movies with a small box of popcorn, looking at themselves in the mirror and saying ‘hey, you look good today, have you lost weight?’ and treating themselves to a meal alone at a café paired with a warm, frothy beverage. Why don’t more people do this?
I know I am not in a good frame of mind when I am hunting down people to go to places with. ‘Hey, are you busy?’ ‘Hey! What are you doing today?’ ‘Hey! Why aren’t you replying to my texts!?’ All classic, desperate messages I have sent to my friends only to realize I was sitting at home waiting for someone else to make my life happen. I know I am in a great frame of mind when I am setting my alarm for 7am, at a restaurant by 8:30am and finished with my second cup of coffee by 9. It is going to be a good day.
What was holding me back before? Was it the insecurity of having to deal with being by myself for extended periods of the day? I have to admit, when you make the initial decision to start dating yourself, the first outing can be a little daunting. You think everyone is staring at you – the lonely girl/boy – and you constantly wonder why you couldn’t find a mate to do this with you. You ask yourself, why have you resorted to dating yourself?
But I will tell you this, after dating yourself steadily for a couple of weeks, months even, you start to treat yourself differently and you start to realize that the way you date yourself is the way others should be dating you. End of. There is no judgment, you can order whatever you want, you are completely comfortable and you come home feeling absolutely content with your day’s events, shivering with excitement for next time.
And just like any relationship, it gets easier as time wears on. You learn to accept that no one cares if you have sat at your laptop for two hours and chugged two double-shot skim caps in a half-empty café. You learn to confide in the time with yourself when you are feeling out of sorts or lonely. You learn that if you can’t enjoy your own company once-in-a-while, it’s going to be very hard to find someone who does.