The year was 2006. We were all wearing useless pleather belts that served no purpose. Our pants were cropped and our kitten heels were low. But our spirits were high because we had Snake, baby.
Anyone lucky enough to score a mobile phone had an indestructible brick with a black and white screen. No apps, no worries.
And then one short year later, after a brief foray into flip phones, everything was ruined by the invention of a little thing called the iPhone.
Our phones went from an practical lump of plastic and wires that we used to call mum to pick us up (and maybe make a few prank calls), to an entire computer, camera and mp3 player in our pockets.
And you know what? I kind of miss the dumb phones.
LISTEN: On This Glorious Mess, Holly Wainwright and Ben Fordham discuss the dumb phone revival.
For parents, especially, the new technology heralded a new age of worries.
Cyber bullying. Sexting. Strangers on the internet.
And worst of all: a battery life approximately one million times crappier than a dumb phone.
“Sorry I missed curfew and didn’t tell you mum, I was busy studying and my phone died.”
But 11 years after the first iPhone came out (that’s this year, people) a miracle occurred.
Nokia announced it was bringing back its beloved classic brick – the 3310.
In case you’ve forgotten, that’s the one that looked like a walkie talkie.
And it is MADE for kids.
Sure, the 2018 version of the humble brick has a colour screen and camera (my inner teenager is shrieking at the possibilities!) but the premise is the same. This is a phone, first and foremost.
It isn't a place for YouTubing and Snapchatting. It's to call your mother. Alright?
Better yet, dig up your very first phone. You can bet there'll be some giggles over the antenna and some confusion over how the heck you type words with numbers (we all had "4 5683 968" memorised.)
But the moment your kids discover Snake for the first time? That's a milestone worth Instagramming for sure.
Listen to the full episode of This Glorious Mess here:
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